Random thoughts

I am too busy to blog, but because I hate to leave this little project completely unattended, I’ve made time to list out 5 completely random things that entered my mind today. Call it a meme and copy if you’d like – I’d love to hear your thoughts.

1) What’s with pants these days? Is it just me or do they all fall down? Trust me, I’m not buying them too big. I wish I could say that was my problem, but it isn’t. I have several pairs of properly sized pants – sweats, track pants, casual capris, jeans, the whole gamut – and they all slide down, and require that constant hiking up. Which is so tacky. I know. But what’s a girl to do?

2) I love privacy director. Caller id combined with privacy director has made our home completely free of unwanted calls, and I love that. Thank you Bellsouth.

3) Why does the puppy always take forever to find the proper spot to pee when it’s raining? Sunny and warm, she’s done in 10 seconds flat, but 40 degrees with a whipping rain and she has to sniff around for 10 minutes.

4) Catie is hysterical. I’m trying to teach the girls good table manners, and chewing with your mouth closed is at the top of my list. A certain spouse does not always do this, which drives the other spouse crazy. But I digress. Anyway, after watching Molly eat breakfast Catie turned to me and said, “Mommy, Molly doesn’t have good manners. Did Daddy teach her to chew?” ROFL From the mouths of babes.

5) I live in fear of head lice. We got a note sent home from school earlier this week that lice was detected in Annie’s classroom. For the second time this year. Now my head itches just thinking about it. From extensive googling I’ve learned that they attach more easily to clean hair, so the poor baby’s shampoos are few and far between now. They are also apparently repelled by vinegar, so I added white vinegar to the laundry. Unfortunately we may repel our friends and neighbors as well, since who wants to walk around smelling like vinegar? But if the alternative is to walk around with a head full of bugs, I’ll take the stink.

So what’s new with you?

More pumpkin fun

Annie’s school had a fun storybook pumpkin contest just before Halloween. Each child got to pick one of their favorite stories and decorate a pumpkin to look like the character. It was tricky because they didn’t want the pumpkins to rot, so the skin could not be pierced. We opted for acrylic paint and TONS of hot glue. I think it turned out really cute!

Everyone should have a Molly

I just love this little doggie. She’s the sweetest thing ever, and such a cute little fluffer.

A very Disney halloween

For the first time ever we used these really cute Disney jack-o-lantern patterns. They are cute, and surprisingly easy. Nest year I’ll buy a battery powered cutter rather than doing it all by hand though.

The last one was after trunk-or-treating. Yes, I know, I still haven’t posted pictures. Behind as usual!

Election Day!

I have guilt when I’m away from the blog for too long. So rather than post the catch-ups in chronological order, I’m going with the most exciting first. We got to see The First Lady yesterday!

It was such a l-o-n-g wait! We didn’t have enough info first. There were no seats, standing room only, and it was hard concrete. It was packed, so much that I was afraid the girls would get squished. And they nearly did a few times. And it was HOT, since it was 80 degrees here yesterday and the a/c didn’t appear to be running. At least not enough.

We arrived at 11 to get a good seat (ha, ha), and the First Lady didn’t speak until 12:40. The girls were very patient, but they did get quite tired. Annie rested on Pappap’s shoulders:

I made them all outfits to wear. Catie is wearing a really cute twirl skirt that you can’t even see in this picture! lol Annie designed her own tee. She is absolutely enthralled with the idea that a woman could be VP. Interesting to me, since having a female leader has never been at all important to me. But I’m happy to see her enthusiasm. Anything can happen, child, anything can be.

Lousy picture, but at least you can see a glimpse of Catie’s skirt. The bottom layer was blue with silver glittery stars.

Lilly still does her Disney World picture pose! She’s holding Tink of course.

I can’t get these pictures to appear in the order that I want and I’m frustrated and giving up. This was taken at the end of the rally. The crowd was thick and I couldn’t see at all, so I just held the camera up and snapped away. This is a pretty good one!

Here she is giving her speech. Behind her are local candidates:

A better shot of Lilly’s shirt:

Annie wanted desperately to meet her but there was no way I could get to the front of the crowd. She and Catie are small, so they held hands and worked their way up to the front, very excited. Unfortunately then a man passed out next to them, and they had to move so paramedics could get in.

OK, try again. Catie gave up, but Annie wormed her way up front again. In comes the r-u-d-e lady and her child standing next to Annie, who told her that she had to leave. Annie was confused and just looked at her, and the lady said that kids weren’t allowed to talk to the First Lady. Annie ran away in tears. Turns out this was just some attendee who didn’t want Annie taking away from her own child. MANY children got up front and met the First lady, got autographs, snapped pictures…Annie just wasn’t one of them. If I had found the lady who scolded my daughter I might have cheerfully choked her.

Instead I told my baby not to cry, hoisted her onto my shoulders, and ran in as close as I could. Mrs. Bush was just about to leave and I knew I couldn’t get any closer so I told Annie that this was it. She shouted, “I love you Laura!” It was so cute, and many people in front of us turned to look. Including… Mrs. Bush! She looked up and smiled and waved right to Annabelle!!! It was definitely the highlight of our day, and could have been better only if I was able to take a picture of the moment. But that’s ok – when we left Annie found a heart-shaped rock at Fazoli’s that she kept as her remembrance of the day.

Just call me Angelina

Hey Maddox, I let my kids play with knives too:

I remember helping my mom in the kitchen, and I hope she remembers those moments as well (instead of crazy mad mommy moments!) I wish we could have more of them, but with two little sisters who also want to help, it’s complicated. This day we parked them in front of Annie’s dance recital DVD while we worked!

An early jack-o-lantern

(a little scary to see a nose that close up, isn’t it?)
Annie lost her first tooth! She wished that the tooth fairy would bring her chocolate coins. I’d never heard of that so I told her not to get her hopes up, but lo and behold the tooth fairy must have heard her, because she did wake up to a whole bag full of dark chocolate coins. PLUS, a five dollar bill. (Good grief, talk about inflation. The TF used to being me a quarter!) And fabulous child that she is, Annie gave the money to me. She said that she thought maybe I could use it for something. So chocolate is more valuable to her than actual money. Aunt Amy would be proud.

I love these kids

Annie has been home on fall break and it’s been so wonderful. When she heads back to school on Monday my heart will hurt again – I miss her when she’s gone.

Of course she will be thrilled – she ran downstairs this morning and the first words out of her mouth were “Do I get to go to school today?” Don’t worry about my feelings, kiddo, really. I’ll try not to be offended! lol I really am glad that she loves it so much though – I know we’re blessed in that regard (see that word again?).

At breakfast she suggested that we all pray for Grama, who was at the doctor. So proud. My mom had a hysterectomy + on Wednesday, and is having a difficult recovery.

Late morning they asked if they could watch a movie and I obliged, thinking of the work I could sneak in while they were occupied. As they snuggled together on the couch I heard Catie say, “I love you guys so much” and Annie replied, “I know Catie. I would be lost without my sisters.” It brought tears to my eyes. And actually I am also blessed in that regard as well, because words like these are a pretty common occurrence around here. I’ve always been careful to tell them how lucky (blessed) they are to have each other, and how sisters are best friends, no one will ever love you like your sisters, etc. I hope that stays with them their whole lives.

Before Annie’s soccer game last week they were playing on the playground, and one of her teammates came up and asked Annie to play with her. She said, “I’m playing with my sisters right now, but you can join us if you want.” I love that she didn’t ditch them to play with the big kids.

I really can’t remember what I did before these girls entered my life, but I know it wasn’t anything good. They are my favorite people in the world.

Sometimes our kids really ARE smarter than we are

From the first day of school, Annie has been coming home with stories about Sammy. He seemed a bit ornery, that Sammy. Impulsive, always getting into little jams, and earning the not-so-distinguished honor of being the first child in Ms. Kristen’s room to lose their green light. I don’t know why, but somehow I’ve always envisioned little Sammy as high-spirited rather than naughty. (Possibly because I hope that’s how people will view Catie when she gets to school!)

Yesterday Annie’s Sammy story was sad. He told Evelyn that he would not be her friend because he does not like her. Seeing as how Annie and Evelyn have been BFFs since they met last week, this did not suit Annie very well. She said that Evelyn started to cry, and she told her not to be sad because she loved her and she was her bestest friend in the whole world. She said that cheered her up a little, but Annie was still concerned about the whole situation. Over dinner last night she asked me what she should do when something like that happened.

I wasn’t really sure what to say. In my head I admit to thinking ‘Kick him’, but it was very fleeting and only slightly serious. I told her that in my experience, people who say mean things usually do it because they are hurting on the inside. And that while I don’t always know the right things to say, I try to remember that and treat them with love. She didn’t say very much after that, but when she said her prayers last night she prayed that Evelyn would be strong and not have her feelings hurt, and that Sammy would learn nice words to say. I kissed her and told her that was sweet. As I started to leave the room, Annie told me that she figured out what to say to Sammy if he says bad things again.

“Oh yeah baby, what’s that?”

“Jesus love you Sammy, and so do I.”

Yet again this child, this amazing child, has humbled me. What else could one possibly say that would be any better?

One of my biggest fears about Annie going to school was situations just like this. Everything in her world has been sunshine and roses, and I’d like to keep it pristine for as long as possible. I’m sad that this sort of thing is already happening in the second week of Kindergarten. But I am so encouraged by my daughter’s response to it.

I think every parent believes that their child will change the world – someday. Last night was the first time I realized that my little girl was already out there doing it.

So last night, and again today, every time I think of them I am praying for Sammy and for Annie. And if you can spare a moment or two, I’d love for you to do so as well. Annie asked me last night if I prayed for her while she was at school and I said yes.

“Well then could you say two prayers tomorrow? Because I’m kind of nervous.”

“Absolutely baby. And remember that God is always with you, ok?”

My little kindergarten missionary. I couldn’t be more proud of her.

So 2 years from now I should be doing great

You’ll have to forgive my neglect of this little blogging endeavor. You see, I made myself a promise a couple weeks ago, and staying off of the computer was a big part of it. The last month + has been non-stop fun and games at our house. Not only were we blessed with a visit from the very popular Cousin Erin and Aunt Beth, but we’ve also been having a countdown of sorts. And it all ended today. Today, you see, is a big day here. Today is Annie’s first day of school.

For those who don’t talk to me every day this probably comes as a surprise. The plan was to homeschool, and homeschool we did last year. My little girl already knew all of her letters and numbers and sounds, and teaching her to read was fun and surprisingly easy. Watching her math abilities grow was amazing (I never thought I’d be able to say that about a child of mine!). Exploring new concepts together was one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done with her.
But unfortunately, trying to do all of this while also nurturing her two little sisters was more than I could handle. Either Annie’s day was scattered and unstructured, or her sisters spent too much time in front of the TV alone while I worked with Annie. Either way, it wasn’t as it should be.

Which brings us to this summer – our last days of unadulterated fun. I promised myself that I would treasure every moment. That I would not tell her “Not now” or “Maybe later” – that I would get my priorities straight for once, housework and sewing and everything else be darned. And enjoy her I did. But sadly all good things must come to an end…which brings us to present day.

Being what I hope is a good mom, I have been very careful not to mention to Annie how emotionally devestated I am by her growing up. We’ve talked about all of the fun things she will do, the friends she will make, the lessons she will learn. And my little social butterfly is going to love it. I’ve properly bit my tongue and encouraged her. And so yesterday we had this little ‘Going to School’ party:

Annie chose Corn Dogs, homemade potato chips and dip, carrots and grapes, and cheese sticks.

Aren’t her little school bus decorations cute? She’s so proud of her newest art subject.

Pappap and Grama joined us for lunch.

And Annie got lots of new Hannah Montana goodies for school. We also gave her the gold cross necklace below, to help remind her that God is always with her, even when we aren’t.

Could she BE any cuter? She picked the shoes herself, to be cool like her (21-year-old) cousin Haddie.

Just outside the school:

You can’t really see it, but the tag hanging down is a luggage tag with family pictures in it.

And here she is with Ms. Kristen, who so far seems pretty wonderful:

I walked out of the room just moments after the above picture was taken. I gave my girl a hug, wished her a good day, and looked back from the doorway to see her opening her pink Play-Doh and talking to her tablemate Savannah. I blinked back tears all through the hall, but of course there were dozens of other excited kids and nervous moms nearby, so I couldn’t cry yet. And when I got to the car, wouldn’t you just know that I was surrounded by other first-day kids. Of course I can’t cry there. So I had to leave, and pray that I didn’t wreck the van on the way home because I was crying so hard I couldn’t see.

I’d like to say that my day got better from there, but it didn’t. I cried off and on all day long, made worse by the flu-like illness I seem to have developed yesterday. I know it’s hard for all mothers to watch their babies grow up. Perhaps especially so for stay-at-home moms like myself, who have never had daycare or babysitters or pre-school to soften the blow. There was no easing into this one. Yesterday she was all mine, and today, and everyday for the rest of her life, she spends half her time with strangers. My heart is aching – I feel like a piece of me is missing. And of course it is – a very special, very important part.

This isn’t just any kid. This is the little girl who believes that the Little Einsteins are real, because she met them in Disney World. The girl who gets $5 a week in allowance and saves every penny of it, and just last Sunday voluntarily took out $40 of her Disney money to donate to the church building fund. The daughter who, when she watched me put on makeup last month pointed out that it doesn’t matter what we look like, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. I was so touched. “I know baby, you are so right,” I said as I wiped my eyes and dusted powder on my nose. She looked at me for just a moment. “Then Mom,” she replied, “Stop doing that. God doesn’t care what you look like, and neither do we.”

How can a child so small be so wise? So kind? So completely selfless? And how long can that last now that she is OUT THERE in the cold hard real world? How long before a kid tells her that the Little Einsteins are just costumes, or that she is anything less than incredibly beautiful? How long before both of our hearts are broken by the cruelty that exists in childhood?

So today was the day that I had to finally face all of those fears, pray for God’s blessing and protection over her, and watch my baby walk away on her own. I know it probably sounds melodramatic to those of you who aren’t mothers, or haven’t gone through this yet. But just as sure as I feel this loss, I know that millions of other mothers are feeling it too. And I’m sad to realize that it won’t ever go away. This is it – she’ll never come back. She’ll never again be my little baby – we’ll never again get those five-and-a-half glorious, uninterrupted years of togetherness.

I’m excited for her, don’t get me wrong. I know she’ll love it, and I know there are great things to look forward to as she grows up. But today has been far from great in this mother’s book.

And now you’ll have to excuse me. It’s almost 2 and I need to dry my eyes and pick up my missing piece. Tonight will be better.

PS) The title is derived from this handy-dandy little heartbreak calculator. Seems that, yes indeed, you really can Google anything. If your heart is broken (and I sincerely hope it isn’t), you can figure out when you’ll be on the mend here.