The Dynamic Duo

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

~Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Halloween fun!

I really love Halloween.

It’s sort of an odd fit, given that I’m a Christian and the holiday is a little, um, less-than-Christian.  But who really thinks about the meaning of Halloween?  (If you do, now would be an excellent time to not point that out to me.)

For me it’s all about the costumes.  And the candy. And yes, even the decor, though I do abstain from witches and devils and the like.

I revel in the creative, fantastical nature of the day.  In years past we have always done family themed costumes – last year we were all Superheroes, for example.  But I started to feel that this was stifling the girls’ creativity.  When they asked to do Toy Story this year I had to put my foot down.  It’s such a cop-out!  Grab some commercial movie and store-bought costumes?  Please!  We can do better than that!

Longing for the Halloweens of my youth, I wanted the girls to be more unique.  I took them to the fabric store individually and let them choose their costume.  They pored through the pattern books until they found that perfect, just-right costume idea, and then we chose the fabric to make their choices come to life.

Many dollars and many hours later, here is what we ended up with.

Annie chose Laura Ingalls (Little House on the Prairie):

(I realize now that I didn’t take any pictures of her by her herself. Whoops! So here she is with her friend Tramell – ie, the boy she plans to marry.)

Catie opted for Little Red Riding Hood – a pattern that (sadly) I had to modify quite a bit to remove the slutty factor.  It’s bad enough that teenage girls dress this way – do we really have to encourage Kindergartners to do it as well? Prostitots.

Sorry – got sidetracked. The picture:

And Lilly picked a period dress – very Martha Washington.  I was at a loss to explain why she might want to be Martha Washington, but I was happy to oblige.

It wasn’t until the dress was done and she was slipping on her fourth pettiskirt (to make it extra full) that I realized my mistake.  “I Lificity!” she exclaimed.  ‘A-ha!’ I thought.

For the rest of you that are still lost, that’s Lilly-speak for Felicity, the American Girl doll.

And the whole crew, heading out to Trunk-and-Treat.

And now we need a new home for the 15 pounds of candy they collected.  They never eat it all!  I’m sure we’re not the only ones who throw away Halloween candy a year later.

Oh – and the boo! Can’t forget the boo!  Our neighborhood was late going this year, but the week before Halloween we were all out in full force.  I love Booing!

And finally, I have to brag on my girls.  Their school did a storybook pumpkin contest and Annie got Honorable Mention for her Magic School Bus:

And Catie won the ‘Most Original’ category!

And now I am thankful that this is all past us and I can relax start working on Christmas presents.

The fun never ends.

Answered Prayer

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted what I asked of Him.”

~1 Samuel 1:27

Minun armas kaveri, minun sisar, minun sielu apulainen

Many moons ago, I was supposed to be a foreign exchange student living in Finland.  As my departure date neared, I grew increasingly scared apprehensive, and eventually canceled the move. My parents were moving out of state, and I didn’t want to return from a foreign country to a new and unfamiliar place.  Instead, I stayed in the US and I left the only home I’d ever known just before my senior year of high school.

Most ironically, in my new town, my immediate best friend was a foreign exchange student from Finland.

One way or another, the country and I were destined to intersect.

Nella.  With two L’s, and you pronounce them both.  In the US, we rarely do that.  In Finland, it’s a pretty big deal.  Nel-la.  She was impressed that I did that correctly.

We were thrown together most serendipitously.  Riikonen and Roberts.  The alphabet was on our side.

Well, that and combat boots.  We both had an affinity for combat boots, which in rural Kentucky is not a common thing.  On the first day of school I’m pretty sure we were both wearing teeny-tiny daisy duke cutoffs with black tights and combat boots, and that pretty much much sealed up our fate.  How could I not love her?

She’s very loveable.

I’ve never laughed so hard in my life as I do with Nella.  For hours, endlessly, so that at the end of it all we have no idea when or why it began in the first place.

She’s the only other person I’ve ever met who likes the smell of skunk.  And to this day, I never catch a whiff of skunk without breathing deeply and thinking of Nella…and coffee.

Plus she needed a translator, because in spite of her perfect English, I’m the only one who can read her handwriting.  Seriously – the only one.  I’ll totally challenge you.

I let her birthday pass without mention this year, because I am the lousy sort of friend who always forgets things like this.  Not the date – I couldn’t ever forget the date.  10/2.  Which is only 10/2 in the US.  Everywhere else it’s written 2/10, which meant according to her ID card it looked like she turned 18 in February.  This was incredibly fortunate for her, because it meant she was able to have her navel pierced at the local tattoo parlor when really she was only 17.  See, at 17 you need parental consent, which my parents would never give.  So I was forced to take matters into my own hands, quite literally.  And lucky for me, Nella is the kind of BFF that would help a girl pierce her own belly button in the guest bedroom of her grandparents’ house over spring break.  Holla!

[Side note: Don't try this at home kids.  The pain is worse than childbirth and I am not even kidding about that.  Also it's likely to rip out a year later, which really totally sucks.  And also hurts.  And then getting it re-done through scar tissue is not pleasant either.]

Part of Nella’s fabulousness is her willingness to overlook my own, um, lack of fabulousness.  She’s the Ying to my Yang.  She sends long letters with thoughtful pictures, and I can’t even seem to upload them from the camera to the computer.  She remembers my birthday far enough in advance to send a postcard halfway around the world, whereas I remember hers at about midnight the night beforehand.  And inexplicably, she seems to love me in spite of my glaring lack of regular communication.

Many years and many pounds ago, when I was too thin to be allowed to donate blood and my chest was a far more manageable size.  Ah, the good old days.

She is a best friend, a sister, a soulmate…she is everything I ever could have wanted from Finland. And more.

And I am so, so grateful to have her in my life – even at 4600 miles away.

Happy [belated] Birthday, my dear, dear friend.

I love you.

Rest Easy

When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

~Proverbs 3:24

And so she dances

Let them praise His name with dancing, and make music to Him with tambourine and harp. ~Psalm 149:3

Fall Festival. Already.

Last night was Fall Festival night at church.  I know it seems early, but we’ve been enjoying some lovely fall weather lately… Until God thought it would be super funny to make it 95 degrees yesterday.

Fall?  Psych!

But despite the warmer-than-ideal temperatures, a good time was had by all.

I really should have taken pictures of the lovely foods – we had tons of soups and stews and comfort foods.

Or the desserts – pumpkin pie, apple pie, orange cupcakes…

Instead I have a couple snaps of cute kids

A couple of pictures of the games outside

And lots of pictures from the most popular hangout – Pie the Pastor.

I thought he was a pretty good sport about it, too.

But then when I uploaded pictures, I noticed that when the tables turned and he pied one of the youth, his expression was pretty…intent.

Tell me that look isn’t all ‘Yeah, take that buddy!’

Poor kid.

It was a really great night, and made me thankful once again to have found such a great church home.

A Church Is A Gift From God…Assembly Required

Makeover Monday: Doggie Style

The first day of school was hard for Lilly.  She missed her sisters.

Despite not having any concept of time, she asked me repeatedly what time we were picking them up, and what the current time was.  Starting around 9 am.

Thankfully, she had a patient and loving playmate in the form of Molly, our 2-year-old Shih Tzu.

Being a female dog, and having three small female owners, Molly is a girly-girl-dog.  She has more dresses than I do, and I am not even joking about that.

So on the first day of school (over a month ago because I’m so far behind), when Lilly was bored and Molly was willing, they played dress-up.

All. Day. Long.

She played football

And she was her own cheerleader.

She was a Disney Princess

And a ruffly, pink schoolgirl.

She wore a proper business suit

And a little black dress

And even a wedding gown.

And even after all of that, Lilly and Molly were still the very best of friends.

This is one great dog, y’all.  Lucky us.

True Love

My young daughters have already begun to choose their future husbands.  I find it a bit odd since who I was going to marry was pretty much the farthest thing from my mind in  preschool, but this seems to be a common practice now.  I’ve found it doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it might, likely because I breathe a sigh of relief at all of their choices.

Lilly proudly declares, “I get married with Luke.”  Luke being a boy from our church.  He’s a very appropriate 2 years older, one of the cutest little boys I’ve ever seen, and just the right amount of ornery.  He makes me laugh just to look at him, and he comes from a good family.  And it just so happens that the girls are all good friends with his twin sister, so the families could just merge seamlessly.  Good choice Lilly.  Please remember this in high school.

Catie picked Carter, the son of some friends of ours.  Or possibly Isaac, their other son.  Either way, I’m good with it.  Another great family, great kids, super cute.  She & Isaac might be too similar to make it work, but thankfully they have a few years to iron out the details.  Thumbs up.

And then there’s Annie.  She is 7 and going into 2nd grade, and she wants to marry her best friend.  So far, a very solid plan.

What makes Annie’s choice so special is who her best friend is – a little boy from her class who is severely autistic.  They sit beside each other, and from day one Annie has adored him.

She never noticed that their skin is a different color.  She never cared that he is largely non-verbal.  Instead, she began checking books out of the library on sign language.  It wasn’t for 5 months that I realized she was doing this so she could learn to communicate with him.

She never cared that he throws fits of frustration.  She didn’t mind recently when he hit her on one such occasion.  In fact, she dismissed it immediately when I asked her about it, afraid he would get into trouble.  “It’s okay mom, he didn’t mean it!”

She carries tissues in her backpack so that she can use one of those if the need arises, because he doesn’t like everyone to use the tissue box.  He wants it to be his personal tissue box, and Annie is happy to comply.

She’s even gone so far as to re-arrange her bathroom schedule, because he doesn’t like it when she goes to the bathroom right after lunch.  She never questioned why this bothered him, she just accepted it.  And she loves him enough to change even that, just to ensure his happiness.

The first week of school, she told Catie about her new best friend.  “He has autism” I heard her say, and my ears perked up. 

“What’s that?” Catie asked.

“It’s just part of him, like you have blue eyes, and Lilly has big feet.  It’s part of what makes him him.  He’s really cool Catie, I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

And that was all she ever said about it – she’s never mentioned his autism since.  But him?  He gets discussed every day.

Their desks are together.  They line up together.  She holds his hand in the hallway, and she likes to sit with him at lunch so she can open his milk.  Sometimes they make swaps with their food, which works out particularly well for him since Annie eats like a bird.

She loves him with a heart that is pure, and she loves him from a place that is deeper than most adults I know. 

She has a completely normal, ordinary, everyday friendship with him, and I love this about her.  That she overlooks all that is different and notices only what is alike.

Recently I accompanied her class on a field trip, and I was pleased to see how kind she was to him.  She didn’t run off and leave him because things were new and exciting and he couldn’t keep up.  She still held his hand.  She still opened his drink.  She still looked after her buddy.

In fact she ditched me on the bus so she could ride with him instead, and she helped him do Mad Libs on the way.  That he didn’t understand ‘adjective’ or ‘adverb’ was no deterrent at all – she just found a way to make it work.  When he got out of his seat, she showed him the sign for ‘sit’.  When he was restless, she gave him my phone to watch cartoons.  And mostly, she gave him hugs.  Lots and lots of hugs.

I was so proud of her, and I told her that evening that I was happy to see how nicely she treated him, and what a good friend she was being.  At this she screwed up her little face, gave me a strange look and said, “I’m not his friend to be nice to him.  I just love him.”

And she does.  She just loves him.

I wonder how many times in his life he will experience that kind of blind, unconditional love.  I wonder how many times I will. 

I wonder how many times I offer that same selfless love to others.  Especially to those who aren’t family, to those who are different, to those who lash out at me in frustration. 

How often do I love purely, without expectation? 

How often do I overlook everything that makes someone different or difficult, and just. love. them.?

My daughter has the most amazing spirit I believe I have ever encountered, and praise God for it, because certainly it comes in spite of all the ways I fail her.  I very often feel she is the one setting the example for me. 

Today, I will strive to love like Annie.  It’s a lofty goal, but I have a great Teacher – in more ways than one.

A conversation with Catie

We live less than 3 miles from Catie’s preschool.  2.63, to be exact.  And the sheer number of words that she can squeeze in during that 5-minute ride never cease to amaze me.  How do her vocal chords keep up with her mouth?  How does her mouth keep up with her brain?  And where does her brain come up with this stuff?

What follows is an actual conversation with my almost-five-year-old.  I recorded it for posterity.

Catie: Turn on the radio.

Me: I will Catie, just a minute.

Catie: Can you turn on Leaving on a Jet Plane, I don’t know when I’ll be back again?  I like that song.  I know all the words.  Want me to sing it to you?  I’m leeeavin, on a jet plane…

Me: I don’t have that CD with me.

Catie: Aw, mom! Why not?  I love that one.  Can you put in Power in the Blood?  Or Nothing but the Blood?  I like songs about blood.  Are there any other songs about blood?  Why do they sing songs about blood?  Isn’t that kind of yucky?

Me: Well no, honey, because those songs are about Jesus.  His blood is special.

Catie: I’m special too.  My teacher said that the Bible says all of us are special, but she didn’t know where it says that.  I think maybe she made that part up just to make us feel good.  But I bet God still loves us, even if we’re not all special.  It would be really hard to make all of those people and have every one different.  Do you think everyone is really different? 

Me: Yes I do.

Catie: Why?  Twins aren’t different.  They might look different, but they aren’t always different.  Luke and Addy are different because they are boy and girl, Luke is a boy and Addie is a girl.  But some twins are both girls and they look exactly the same and that is dental and then they are the same, and I guess probably boy twins can be dental too, but I don’t like that kind and I only like girl twins, because the boy twins that go to my school, I don’t know their names but they are boy twins, and they throw wood chips.  (pause)  That smells bad.  What smells bad?  What is that smell?  Do you smell something stinky?  I smell something stinky.  Lilly do you smell something?  Hey did you know that Seth’s dad goes hunting?

Me: No I didn’t.

Catie: Has dad ever gone hunting?

Me: [snort] Not hardly.

Catie: Have you ever gone hunting?

Me: Yes.

Catie: Did you go with Pappap?

Me: Yes.

Catie: Will you take me hunting some day?

Me: We’ll see.

Catie: I’d like to go hunting.  I don’t think I want to shoot a gun yet.  Maybe I can just watch.  When I’m bigger I will shoot a gun.  Do we have any guns?  I like guns.  Not for shooting people, just stuff.  Like cans and animals and stuff.  That guy on tv shot a can.  Plus you shoot cans in that game at the fair.  I want to hunt when I’m a grown up.  I’m going to hunt cows, because I like steak.  Have you ever hunted for cows?

Me: Well, no.  You don’t really hunt cows, honey.

Catie: Why not?  Cows are easier to hunt than deer.  Seth’s dad goes hunting for deer but I don’t know why.  Deer run from people so they’d be hard to hunt.  Cows just stand there.  Plus they taste good.  And farmers could just go hunting whenever they want.

Me: I think you’re missing the point of hunting, Catie.

Catie: Isn’t the point to shoot something so you can eat it?

Me: Well yes, but…

Catie: (interrupting) Can we go to the zoo for my birthday?

Me: Why? Do you want to go hunting at the zoo?

Catie: No. (pause) Can you do that?

Me: No.

Catie: Why not?

Me: Because zoos try to keep animals alive.  I don’t think they’d like it if you came in shooting them.

Catie: But you can’t eat if the animals are alive.  They have to die sometime.  What are we going to have for lunch?

Me: I don’t know yet.

Catie: Can we have soup, and can we eat it at Grama’s house?

Me: You can’t just invite yourself over to someone’s house, Catie.

Catie: I can if it’s Grama.  Do you love your mommy?  She is the best Grama ever.  When we were over there yesterday she gave me tea and I got to put my own sugar in, and she let me put in as much as I want.  And she gave me a treat, and she didn’t even yell when I stepped on her foot.  I think she loves me.  So I want to go to her house for lunch and I want you to tell her that, because I know it will be ok.  Ok?

Me: We’ll see, Catie.

Catie: Call her and tell her I said that.  And tell her about the hunting.  And also, can we have steak for dinner?  Except Annie would like crab legs I think, because she doesn’t like steak.  Can we have steak and crab legs?

Me: No.

Catie: You always say no.  Grama never says no.

Me: She did when she was my mom.  And she didn’t give me steak and crab legs for dinner, either.

Catie: When you pick me up, can you bring Grama with you?  And can you come in and see my teacher today?  And I want you to read me a book when I get home ok?  We’re painting today.  I’m going to paint with Anna Jean, because she helps me and because we don’t like to sit next to Teresa because she says bad words.  Also she sticks her tongue out at me, whichly is not nice, and also one time Seth said butthead.  And he threw his apple in the wrong place and I saw him and I knew he was wrong but I didn’t tell Miss April because you said not to be a tattle-tale, but I watched him and I knowed it was him that did it and he was being naughty.  He didn’t do what Miss April said.  I think his mom needs to teach him better manners.  Maybe he needs his bottom spanked so he wouldn’t say butthead anymore.  He isn’t very nice but I still like him because I have to because Jesus said we have to like everyone, but if I didn’t have to because Jesus said to, if Jesus didn’t make me, I wouldn’t like him and I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who said bad words like butthead.  Except I have to on account of Jesus.  But that’s all.  That’s the only reason.  Did Jesus really say that we have to like everyone?

Me: You have to love everyone, but you won’t always like everyone.  It’s complicated.

Catie: What does complicated mean?

Me: Hard to understand.

Catie: Oh.  So do I have to like Seth or not?

Me: Yes.

Catie: Then I’m going to tell him that he better be glad for Jesus, because if there wasn’t Jesus no one would ever like a meanie like him.

Me: Don’t you dare say that to him.

Catie: Ok.  But I’m still gonna think it.

Me: Caitlin Boyd!

Catie: Mommy mom!

Me: Child, you wear me out.  Please do not say anything like that to him.  It’s not nice.

Catie: I told you I wouldn’t.  But don’t you ever think things in your head that aren’t nice?

Me: Yes. But a good person tries to stop thinking bad things, and think about things that would make Jesus happy.  I don’t think it would make Jesus very happy to hear you telling Seth that no one likes him.

Catie: That isn’t what I said at all.  I said no one would like him if Jesus didn’t tell us we have to, which means we do like him, so I don’t think that’s the same at all and I think it’s ok, but I won’t say it.

Me: Catie! <sigh> Have a good day. And stay out of trouble, ok?

Catie: -ignores me because she’s already started talking to the carpool lady-

Me: -drops head to steering wheel in exhaustion-

A conversation with Catie.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world.