An ugly truth

There are some subjects that am so passionate about that I can’t help but speak up and speak out.

Adoption.

The R-word.

The Pittsburgh Steelers.

{And in turn, the Ravens and Tom Brady, and, well, lots of other sports related stuff that really isn’t the point right now}

There are also things that I care so much about I can hardly dare to speak of them, because I know I can’t be trusted to keep my composure.

In our house we have a policy:

Think before you speak – Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

If it doesn’t meet these requirements, then it’s generally best left unsaid.

Sometimes I struggle with the kind and the necessary.

Subjective, aren’t they? And sometimes I find it necessary to forgo one when the others are needed so much more.

But finally I have decided that this is True and Necessary, and the kind, well…I won’t be killing anyone with kindness today.

And I am okay with that.

Because this?

This is big. Huge. About as big as it gets.

And pedophilia and child molestation are something I just can’t shut up about.

CNN reported that on the one year anniversary of his death Tuesday, Paterno supporters gathered around a mural depicting the former coach. A mural which used to have a halo above his head, but someone mustered a small shred of decency and had that painted over.

Sadly, he was not painted out entirely…or given horns instead of halo.

Did you know that there is a Facebook fan page called Support Joe Paterno? It’s a safe haven for over 22,000 Penn State football devotees to sing his praises and, apparently, point out who else is guilty and wait for an apology to the Paterno family.

I hope they die without it.

I saw this banner on ESPN last year and I cheered. Loudly.

My thoughts exactly.

And the day that very thing happened was a very good day.

Don’t tell me that he did his job.

The absurdity of that would be laughable if it weren’t so sick and sad.

His job.

As if, when it comes to the rape and sexual abuse of a child, the letter of the law is all that is required.

As if you wouldn’t feel differently if you were the one being forced against that shower wall.

As if you wouldn’t feel differently if it was your child who was crying in the shower as he was being raped.

Too graphic for you?

This is Truth.

An ugly truth.

And it is the truth that Joe Paterno chose to do – at best – the very least that he was legally required to do.

At worst? Well, in my book, he’s an accomplice.

Don’t bother telling me who else was involved. Believe me, I’ve done my research. There is a lot of blame to go around. A sickening number of guilty parties involved in the inaction/coverup of these heinous crimes. Paterno’s egregious breech of ethics and morals and basic human decency was not his and his alone, I am well aware.

But as I tell my children, pointing out someone else’s wrong doesn’t change your own behavior. The fact that Mike McQueary - and let me show his face here, because everyone should know what the ‘man’ who saw a pedophile in action, admittedly made eye contact with the young boy being attacked, and then walked away and did nothing to stop it…everyone should know what that kind of ‘man’ looks like. It should also be noted that ‘man’ in parenthesis is the kindest possible word I have to describe him. By a long shot. -

the fact that Mike McQueary saw a child being raped, made eye contact with him, and chose to walk away…

it’s unspeakable. Unfathomable.

How is that even possible?

I may very well have gotten myself beaten to a bloody pulp, but I would not walk away. Would not let him continue. Would not forgo 911. And I sure as heck wouldn’t go home to my family and act as though nothing had happened.

Presumably he will be cool with it if someone ever abandons his child in a similar situation.

I would find it hard not to worry about a karma boomerang if I were him.

But even being arguably the most guilty party lined up behind Sandusky – in a vomit-inducingly long line of guilty parties – he isn’t getting his fair share of media attention.

No, that honor goes to JoePa, the face of Penn State.

I’m not the media. I didn’t shine that spotlight. But I don’t feel bad that it’s hitting him. And I don’t for a fraction of a second believe it’s undeserved.

It’s part of the job he took on in 1966, being the head coach of a major football program.

When you are the face of an organization and the heart of a school, you accept a huge responsibility.

If that team loses games, you’re the one held accountable, not the grad students working for you.

Paterno was happy to take credit for 409 wins. He even owned his 19 losing seasons.

He owns a big piece of this as well.

Let us never forget that.

Actually, you’re *not* special

This is something I try to teach my children. Sounds terrible, right? But I think you should teach it to your kids, too. Looking around our society, I see plenty of adults who were never taught that lesson, and the results? They’re not good.

Case in point – traffic. Oh my goodness do the drivers of the world need to hear this. You are not special, people! We all have places to go and schedules to keep, and unless you’ve got freshly harvested organs in your car and you’re rushing to a children’s hospital, you’re not special. You need to sit and wait your turn, just like everyone else. Don’t drive down to the end of a lane you know is merging, then swerve in at the last second, cutting everyone else off. You are no more important than the rest of us.

About to miss your turn? Then you need to drive down to the next light and turn around and go back. You, know, since you are the one that screwed up and all. You don’t need to sit there blocking traffic, waiting for 2 lanes to clear so you can illegally turn from the middle lane just to save yourself 90 seconds of turning around and going back.

In parking lots where there’s lots of traffic – think just after church, or during school pick-ups – you need to wait in line. Patiently. Stop looking for empty parking spaces to cut through and work your way up 3 cars. Especially after church, this is a real jackleg move. Just wait your turn.

This mindset is what my dad calls ‘Hooray for me and the heck with you’.

And traffic isn’t the only place you’ll encounter it, either. Hooray for the lady in the grocery store with a cart full of stuff, and the heck with the man behind her who has to wait 10 minutes to buy his loaf of bread. She was there first!

I use this as an example because I think we, my fellow women of the world, are the worst offenders. Women act so entitled these days it’s sickening. No wonder chivalry is dead – we killed it with our own attitude of entitlement. No one wants to hold the door for someone who walks right through without a thank you - just ask my friend Darcie.

So I try to teach my kids that they aren’t special.

God made us all unique, there’s only one irreplaceable you, you’re amazing, yada, yada, yada. Sure. I’m down with that.

But special as in ‘the rules don’t apply to you’? No way.

I apply this rule to things like prayer at graduation.  You don’t believe in God? Fine. But it’s not going to hurt you to sit down and shut up and let someone else believe out loud. You can even think how silly it is the whole time in your head – no need to call the ACLU for your imagined slight.

Somewhere along the way – and I dare say it was when The Greatest Generation raised The Baby Boomers – we came to believe that individual rights can trump those of a group. That every thought and feeling we have is so profoundly important, we have the right – nay, the obligation – to shout it from the rooftops. And we’re hypersensitive to boot. We believe we’re special.

While discussing the new ‘debt deal’ (tongue. biting.) someone recently commented that everyone wants to make cuts, but no one wants the cuts to affect them. It’s true, in all aspects of our lives. We all think that a vague ‘something’ should be done somewhere, but few people feel the obligation to start with themselves. (When’s the last time you sent in a little extra with your taxes, just to help out?)

So this is me, at home, doing my part. Following the rules of common courtesy and basic respect. Teaching my kids that we’re just like everyone else.

Except better drivers.

I’m definitely a better driver.

Why I’m not celebrating

I’m sure you’ve heard the news by now. After 9 1/2 years of pursuit, Usama Bin Laden has been declared killed by US Forces. I watched the television coverage late into the night, with very mixed emotions.

I am glad that he’s not ‘out there’ anymore. I’m not even mourning his death, really. But I cannot stomach the celebrations that I’m witnessing.

Let me say right now that I consider our military personnel separately from what I’m about to say. Their story is not our own. Their emotional attachment to this news is and deserves to be  on a different level. I understand something of their relief and their satisfaction at a job done. Something.

But for those who have done mostly nothing…those average Americans who sit at home day after day, living their comparatively cushy lives, risking nothing and sacrificing nothing…for them – because of them – I feel saddened. Weary. Ashamed.

UBL did evil things. Few would argue with that. The world is probably a [marginally] safer place without him in it…though I don’t for one moment deceive myself enough to think there aren’t hundreds more radicals lined up to take his place.

I’m not sorry he is gone.

But I’m very, very sorry that another soul has been lost.

By earthly standards, Usama Bin Laden was about as bad as it gets. He was ‘less than’ me.

But by God’s standards? He was another child. A child just like me.

A child loved and lost.

I cannot allow myself to lose sight of that, and I cannot bring myself to celebrate something so contrary to the heart of God.

I don’t generally like to hear scripture quoted in a context like this. It can seem so self-righteous, and that’s not my intent. But in the hopes that it might give you pause, or reason to look at this victory in a new light…

Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove, and turn His wrath away from them. ~Proverbs  24:17

As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked. ~Ezekiel 33:11

From my feed, Facebook statuses from the past 10 hours:

‘Good News. Osama Bin Laden is in hell.’

‘Wish we had footage we could all watch on tv, Al-Jazeera style’

‘We should have a parade with his head on a stick’

‘Earthquake warning: Bin Laden is in hell and even they don’t want him.’

‘They should strap a bomb to him and blow his body to bits, let the pieces rain down over the whole [bleep] country’

Nice.

Oh and of course the numerous ‘Ding Dong Bin Laden’s dead’ posts. Cheering the fact that he’s gone ‘below, below, below, yo-ho!’

Awesome.

I’m very sorry that this nation, despised for its arrogance in much of the world, will now be making international headlines for our celebration in the streets. Much like they celebrated the terrorist attack that started all of this. Much like I imagine they would celebrate the assassination of our President. And we would be sickened by their celebrations, wouldn’t we? Because it’s evil. Because we’re above that.

Except when the shoe is on the other foot, apparently. Then we’re able to appreciate the differences.

‘But we’re the good guys!’

Right. The good guys.

Who, in that moment, don’t actually look all that different from the ‘bad guys’

Perception is reality.

Remember that while you celebrate.

Conduct yourself accordingly.

We did what needed to be done, but we don’t have to delight in it.

I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. ~Ezekiel 18: 32

And…the job is not done.

Suck it up

The football thing?  Turns out I lied.

I had intended to talk about football.

James Harrison, in particular.

I’m kinda bent about the whole thing.

But then, I don’t know…I just got kinda sick of it all.  I’m over this conversation.

His crybaby ‘take my ball home and quit playing’ declaration might have fueled my apathy.  (Apathy can totally be fueled, by the way.  Totally.)

So I’ll just summarize.

He’s a big, bad scary man.  It’s his job.

Of course he wants to hurt people. Duh. Find me a linebacker that doesn’t want to hurt people.  Except perhaps those that play for the Bears, since clearly they’re lacking.

But I digress.

Hurting people is part of the game, folks.  There is a difference between hurting and injuring, and what a bunch of Nancys we are if we fail to comprehend the difference.  You put the hurt on someone to show them you are a big, bad, scary man not to be messed with.  What exactly would football be without physical intimidation?  It would be baseball.  And seeing as how baseball doesn’t work out too well in Pittsburgh, let’s not go there.

Harrison is being fined now because he ran his big fat stupid mouth.  I’m fine with what he said, don’t get me wrong, but his timing was lousy.  The public was up in arms crying for his head on a platter, and he didn’t do himself any favors.

The hit in question?

I don’t believe it was a dirty hit, because I don’t believe it was intentional.  I won’t go so far as to agree with Harrison, who later said that there was a three foot shift.  I’m not seeing three feet here.  But there is definite movement, and I think that made the difference.

Harrison: “I’ll tell you right now, if I’m running blind and I don’t see the guy coming at me, by NFL rules, if he was to go and shoot at my knee and blow my whole knee out, that is a legal hit. All day. If you see me running blind and I don’t see you, please hit me high and knock me silly. I’ll pay your fine for you. Just don’t hit me in my knee and end my career.”

Amen.  Those guys stood up and walked away seconds later.  You don’t walk away from a knee injury.

[cue the cacaphony of emails telling me that you don't walk away from brain injuries either.]  I get that.  Except these guys did walk away.  Yes, they were fortunate – it could have been much worse.  But accidents do happen and there is risk involved when you choose to make your living getting hit.  It’s part of the game.  Accept that or get a desk job.

And if nothing else, how about the other supposedly dirty hit from that game?  Harrison nailed Cribbs and Cribbs isn’t crying about it.  In fact, he came out in support of Harrsion.

Ok, I did manage to generate a little passion there.  But it’s still negated by the retirement talk.  Good grief, dude.  Grow up.  Crap happens.  Move on.

And put the hurt on someone Sunday.

It is, afterall, your job.

And to all the pansies freaking out over this – have you ever seen rugby?  With no
pads?  Now those are real men.

Come to think of it, maybe Harrison could start a new career if he decides to leave the NFL.  Something tells me the Silverback would be effective on the rugby field as well.

September 12th

For this country, and for many of our friends around the world, this is a sad day.  September 11th will never be the same.

On 9/11, something was taken from us.

Loved ones.

Peace.

A sense of security.

It was a day that needs no description, because you know exactly how it felt.

And every year on this date, we as a country stop to remember September 11th.

And that inspires us to do good things.  We volunteer.  We pray.  We donate blood.

I’m doing all three today myself.

But as we do these things, we remember September 11, 2001.

And that’s where I part ways with the rest of the nation.  Because I don’t want to think about 9/11, not ever and most especially not today.

I think about September 12th.  The 13th, the 14th, the 17th.

I think about the days that followed this great tragedy, and how we as a nation came together in a way that made me proud to be an American.

Immediately following the terrorist attacks, we were a strong and united front in the face of unspeakable horrors.  We prayed together, cried together, worked together.  We gave of ourselves and we cared about our neighbor in a deep and meaningful way.  We banded together and carried each others burdens.

We were good.

September 12th.  That’s the memory that gets me through September 11th.

May we return to the nation that we lived in on September 12th.

A nation that remembers we are all in this together, regardless of political affiliation.

A nation that respects our common goals, and acknowledges that more binds us together than tears us apart.

A community that works together.  A government that works together.

People – together.

Just like we saw on September 12th.

Weeping may last for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

~Psalm 30:5

What I’ve learned from Facebook, part deux

I enjoy social media.  Twitter, Facebook, Youtube – I’m there.  But it seems most many people are unaware of how bad they make themselves look whilst using it.  Because it’s where I spend the the majority of my social media fun time, I’m focusing on Facebook.

Facebook faux pas, to be specific.

I believe that a big part of the problem here is that social media attracts many young and immature people, who have no concept of how far-reaching and long-lasting this will be.  I’m afraid they will learn the hard way.  But just in case anyone is paying attention, here is what I would add to the numerous lists of Facebook don’ts.

-Don’t complain.  Good grief, don’t complain.  This is actually a good policy for every thing and every time in your life – trust me, you’ll be happier for it.  But Facebook specific-ly – it’s free, people.  Free. When you complain about the changes and the errors and the lack of privacy, you reveal yourself to be a petty, spoiled, entitled brat.  It’s free.  Take it or leave it, but stop complaining.

-Don’t whine, either. I tell my primary-aged daughters that no one wants to be friends with a whiner, and I tell them this for one reason.  Because it’s true. Even as adults.  No one wants to be friends with a whiner.  Knock it off. I can’t believe how many adults post nothing but whines about their life. Boo-hoo. Suck it up and deal, people.  We were never promised a rose garden.

-If you are going to comment on someone else’s stupidity, for goodness’ sake, please proofread yourself.  Just this week I’ve seen people complain about the ‘mooron’ in front of them or the ‘dumbness employees’ known to man.  Really? Really?

-Beating a dead horse here, I know, but it’s/its/there/their/they’re/your/you’re – All. Different. As in, not the same.  Distinctly different usage.  Please research.  I promise this information will serve you well in life.  And don’t try to cop out and use ‘ur’.  Doesn’t fly, and possibly makes you look even worse.

-Watch what you ‘like’.  For one thing, if you ‘like’ every little thing that makes you chuckle, you annoy all of your friends by cluttering up their feed with your fluff.  You also make yourself look a bit, well, brain-light. [That's nice-speak for shallow and/or stupid] Also, ‘liking’ something funny now could come back to bite you in the rear later.  I guarantee you that one day the media vetting of politicians will include their youthful indiscretions on Facebook.

-Games. Oh, the games. Do us all a favor, and don’t allow your games to post to your wall.  We will all appreciate not having to hide the annoying applications one by one, and you will look less… like you have entirely too much time on your hands because you are playing two dozen internet games daily.

-Ditto the gift applications.  I don’t need a virtual teddy bear or a cartoon mojito or a pretend pillow fight.  But thanks so much for the thought.

-Another annoying new game trend I’ve noticed – sidestepping my block.  I’ve hidden your dumb games because I didn’t want to see them, and you know that.  So you seem to have started using your status updates to prattle on about your games.  I’m reading along, feeling rather alarmed about the apparent bloodshed, when I realize that this is all about Mafia Wars.  Oh. My. Please stop. Please, just stop.

-You’ve heard it said before, but watch what pictures you post.  Those, too, can (and will) come back to kick you later. Keep it G.  And kids, watch an episode of ‘To Catch a Predator’ one day, and pay attention. [Also worth noting-this may be the only time you will catch me recommending that anyone ever watch MSNBC, for any reason]

-Don’t let Facebook become your reality.  It’s a big, beautiful world out there.  Don’t spend your life in front of a screen, computer or otherwise.  Social media is not the same as real-life social encounter.  Go outside.  Live.  And don’t Twitter about it the whole time, either.  Step away from the Blackberry or the [gag] iphone and just live.  Pretend you’re living in the 80′s ancient times when such technology didn’t even exist.

That’s all I’ve got for now.  What have you learned from Facebook?

Pop over to From Inmates to Playdates to link up yourself, or read what others have learned.

Mr. Census, you owe me. Big.

I try very hard to bite my tongue restrain my fingers here.  Of course it’s my blog and I’ll say what I want to, but generally speaking, I’m a peaceful person.  I don’t want to argue with you in real life, and I especially don’t want to argue with you in cyberspace.  Occasionally I can’t help myself, but for the most part I think I show a great deal of restraint.

Besides, I’ve found that my political beliefs are not well understood or widely held, and I grow weary of endless explanations and defenses. 

{I would like to reiterate, in case you haven’t heard this from me two dozen times already, that liberal and Democrat are not necessarily synonymous, nor are conservative and Republican.  Four entirely different words.  Different meanings.  Despite whatever Fox News, CNN, Jon Stewart, and Glenn Beck would lead you to believe. Not. The. Same.}

Anyway.

This is one of those moments where I don’t stop myself.  Because I am seriously ticked.

Have you heard about the Census?

[If you say no, this might be where I go all crazy on you and tell you to get out of the country]

Have you heard about it because it is in our constitution? 

Or have you heard about it because you, too, have gotten approximately 37 mailings, notes from school, and a seemingly endless barrage of television and radio advertisements?

Actually, come to think of it, I bet most Americans have read the stupid reminder postcards (this month alone) more often than they have read the actual constitution in their entire lifetime. 

<sigh>

But national ignorance aside, come on.  Seriously.  The census is pretty darn basic.  And self-explanatory.  What do you think it says about our average intelligence that the government felt the need to spend $423 million dollars telling us to fill out the form?

NOT A TYPO.

$423 million dollars spent on census communications, which includes $85 million for printing and mailing the reminders alone. 

If I were a swearing kind of gal, this is the spot where you’d find the profanity. 

I’m not a mathematical type of gal, either, but I decided to stretch myself a bit here, just in case you are on my wavelength. 

Leaving the rest of the mind-boggling communications budget out of the equation, let’s tackle that $85 million.  Our home received 4 letters from school in my children’s backpacks, 2 letters telling us that ‘the census is coming!’, and 1 follow-up reminder to fill out the census (after I’d already mailed it in, thankyouverymuch.)  I pretty much found the ‘answer these questions’ blurb at the top of the census form itself to be sufficient instruction.  I could have done without all the other crap superfluous paperwork.  So for my part, I’d like you to keep your stupid mailings, Mr. Big Government, and give me $3.63 additional back on my taxes.

Thanks.

Of course that $3.63 is an exceptionally watered down number, since it takes into consideration our entire population, whereas the census mailings are per household rather than per person.  And it also overlooks the bulk of the communications budget which frankly, I also did not need.

This chart estimates the 2010 census as a whole is costing us nearly $47 per person.  Worth noting is that our last census, in 2000, cost less than $16 per person.  Holy Inflation Batman.

How many trees died so that the government could ask me an overly intrusive, offensive, and frankly irrelevant question like ”Are your children biological or adopted?”

My children are my children.  DNA’s got nothing to do with it.

Grrrr.

I’m not a crazy fringe person.  I’m not angry about the census per se.  I know it is useful, and I know it is constitutional.  I have no quarrel there.  But I take serious issue with the enormous amount of money being spent on it.  Or more accurately, being wasted on it.

I demand a government that is more respectful of my tax dollar.  I know there is a more efficient way to do this.  But ‘efficient’ and ‘government’ don’t exactly go hand-in-hand now, do they?

Can’t wait to see how ‘health care’ pans out.

Tongue. Biting.

O shame, where is thy blush?

Unlike the rest of the country, I never jumped on the American Idol bandwagon.  It’s my personality – I eschew all things popular.  If everyone else is doing it, you’re generally safe to assume that I am not.  Two glaring exceptions are Disney (of course) and Glee (and I’m genuinely surprised that this offbeat show is so popular).

So American Idol – clearly not for me.

Also, I loathe ‘reality’ tv.

Yes, actually I can feel you cringe.  Sorry.

But last year, worlds collided when Disney World built an American Idol attraction.  I had the opportunity to tour the set and get the behind-the-scenes scoop on the whole attraction, and it was interesting enough to make me tune in to the 2009 Idol season.

Mostly unremarkable for me.

None of the artists really grabbed me, and the overall show was just moderately entertaining.  But dutifully, I DVR’d the new episodes last week, which I just finished watching.

Appalling.

And unlike the rest of the country, I’m not talking about Pants on the Ground or any number of other not-good singers who auditioned.  Largely I’m not even referring to Simon Cowell, who has been remarkably subdued in his criticism this season.  (A most welcome change, I might add)

No, I’m talking about Mary J. Blige.  To a lesser extent, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi.  To the fullest and utmost, the viewing audience of this show.

Shame on all of you.

I really can’t believe I am about to say this, but I agree with Rosie O’Donnell wholeheartedly.  Almost two years ago she said “Is that what America thinks is entertainment?  To make fun of someone’s physical appearance and then when they leave the room laugh hysterically at them?  The whole thing, it’s terribly sad to me.”

To me too, Rosie.

In case you didn’t see it, meet Jesse.

Mary J. Blige, your stock dropped through the floor in my eyes.

Shame on you for laughing in this kid’s face.  Shame on you for being even more cold and heartless than Simon Cowell, whom everyone expects to have the compassion of a serial killer.  Kara tried to cover for you, to give you an excuse for your bad behavior.  It was the best she could manage and it was quick thinking on her part, but still a thinly veiled disguise.

And shame on all of you, too, that tune in every week to laugh at people like this.

What kind of people do that? 

I know that some people who go on this show are ‘asking’ for it.  They dress in crazy costumes, they behave bizarrely, they are very obviously trying to grab their 15 minutes of fame a la William Hung.  While I don’t condone mocking people, I don’t get overly undone about a chuckle at the expense of those who intentionally put themselves out there for a laugh.

Does Jesse seem like one of those people to you? 

He strikes me as an unsuspecting victim of a mean-spirited producer, condescending judges, and a cruel viewing audience, all getting their jollies out of belittling someone who did not ‘ask’ for it.  Jesse was manipulated and blindsided.  And shame on everyone who found that amusing.

This isn’t about hand-holding and sweetness.  I don’t expect the show to be all sunshine and roses.  Some of the auditioners do need to hear that they shouldn’t plan on a career in music, and sometimes the truth hurts.  But no one deserves to be belittled.  Laughing in someone’s face isn’t entertaining, it’s cruel.  I am raising 3 children and if one of them ever behaved that way, they would face an immediate and harsh reprimand.  I’d be willing to bet that most of you wouldn’t allow your children to make fun of a classmate in that manner either. 

So consider, don’t your actions speak louder than your words?  If you spend your evening curled up on the sofa laughing at people like Jesse, then you’re sending the message to your kids that making fun of someone is ok – cool, even. 

So yes, I agree with Rosie.  It makes me terribly sad as well.

We’re really a nation full of jerks sometimes.  And worse, too stupid to be ashamed of ourselves.

The one where I alienate all of my readers

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard about Pat Robertson’s recent comments regarding the earthquake in Haiti.  If not, catch up with this clip:

With me now?  Great.

So not surprisingly, there has been a huge backlash.  The airwaves and Internet are abuzz with talk of how Robertson is crazy, stupid, senile – some have even called him Satan himself.  And don’t forget he’s evangelical.  ‘Evangelical Christian’ is the ultimate insult, isn’t it?  As soon as a member of the media uses the phrase ‘Evangelical Christian’, you know they’re gearing up to talk about a serious nutcase.  One of ‘those’ people.

I don’t know the history of Haiti and how the country was founded.  Quite honestly, this controversy has not really sparked my interest enough to research and study the foundations of the nation.  I have a lot on my plate already, and I just can’t squeeze that project in.  I’m not here to comment on whether he is right or wrong in his belief about the pact with the devil.

Certainly I hope that isn’t the case, but his observation about the island of Hispanola is not without merit.  Haiti and the Dominican Republic are night and day in terms of prosperity.  Again, not being an expert here, I did some cursory research and found this excellent article about the disaster history of Haiti.  (Worth noting is that the article comes from New Zealand – I’ve found NZ and Australia both to be better sources for actual news and unbiased information than we can find in the US)   So bad things happen in Haiti.  A lot.  Do they happen there more than in the Dominican Republic, or are they more devastating there because the country is so poor to begin with?  Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  I can’t answer that question. 

What I can say is that Robertson’s comment was probably poorly timed.  I’m an optimist to the enth degree, but even I find it hard to imagine saying that this was somehow a ‘blessing in disguise’.  Perhaps better to say that if anything good could come of this tragedy, hopefully better construction practices would be one of them.  So worded badly?  Sure, I’ll give you that.

Inaccurate assertion about the founding of the country?  Possibly.  Again, not my area of expertise.  I will say, though, that Robertson is far from the first person to believe or state something similar.  In fact, here is an article, written in 2005, that addresses that very issue.  The author is a native Haitian who attempts to dispel that rumor and acknowledges that the belief is widely held.  So again, right or wrong, I’d say Pat Robertson’s timing wasn’t the most sensitive.

What troubles me the most about all of this, though, is that there is such harsh condemnation for a man who has spent the last 54 years trying to do God’s work.  Has he made mistakes along the way?  Without a doubt.  Haven’t you?  Haven’t we all?  Everyone has a foot-in-mouth moment, and these are especially likely when you are in a high-profile position.  Apparently they are even more likely if you are a religious leader or a member of the Republican party.

When President Obama mocked his own bowling ability and said that he was suited for the Special Olympics, his apology was immediately accepted.  In fact, even those renouncing his statement felt compelled to soften their criticism.  Maria Shriver began with “While I am confident that President Obama never intended to offend anyone…” 

When Harry Reid made his remarks about black skin color and used the term ‘Negroes’  [cringe!] CNN was tripping all over themselves to say that he wasn’t racist, just socially awkward.  His apology was welcomed with open arms, and Democrats hit the airwaves telling us there was nothing to see here, case closed.

But when you are Pat Robertson, ‘Evangelical Christian’ and ‘Republican’ (because let’s face it, ‘Republican’ is uttered with the same disdain as ‘Evangelical’, isn’t it?), the only understanding you’ll find is from Eric Metaxas at Fox News.

Despite how this sounds, I don’t want it to be a political issue.  It’s a fairness issue, and fairness is hard to find these days.  If you  want fair, balanced, unbiased reporting, good luck finding it.  Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, The New York Times, NPR…nope.  Heck, even the major networks are clearly biased.  My little small town newspaper leans so far to one side it’s amazing it can still be called a ‘news’ paper without a snicker.  Objective reporting seems to be a thing of the past, and we’re left with choosing a trough that suits you and feeding directly from it.  (This has proven extremely profitable for Fox News, since they pretty much stand alone on the conservative front)

My point here is that somewhere in the middle, the possibility lies that Pat Robertson is neither Satan nor Saint, but a regular man who said something stupid.  Pretty much just like President Obama, Harry Reid, and a million other people.  His big sin here is being from the wrong side of the tracks.  The ‘right’ side.

And because of that, the fact that his Operation Blessing has spent millions of dollars on worldwide charitable projects, and has been in Haiti for years (many disasters prior to this week’s earthquake) will mean nothing.  No one will be reporting on the good he’s done, only his mistakes.  That’s just sad.

Instead of looking at him with animosity, I suggest that our energies would be better directed toward how we can help Haiti right now.  I’m not a fan or a follower of Pat Robertson.  I’ve never seen the 700 Club, I don’t buy his books, and I probably wouldn’t vote for him for President.  What I am is a fan of fairness, forgiveness, and understanding – none of which he is being shown this week. 

I hope I haven’t lost you, dear readers, but if that’s the case then so be it.  I can’t always bite my tongue, and I feel strongly about compassion and second chances.  I think Haiti and Mr. Robertson both deserve them right now.

Calling out the critics

I’m behind on the news, I know.  I actually heard about these things when they happened, but none seemed entirely blog-worthy on their own, so instead I’m combining into one big gripey post.  So with no further ado, I present news that has ticked me off in recent weeks.

-Did you hear about Salma Hayek breastfeeding another child?  Apparantly this was a huge controversy.  I really cannot fathom why, though.  It’s not as if she was baby swapping in Atlanta, just for kicks.  She was in a third world country, holding a starving baby whose mother had no way to feed him.  She has milk right there and available.  What should she have done, exactly?  What would her critics have done?  “Sorry lady, I hate that your baby is starving and could die of hunger, but it makes me a little uncomfortable to give your child the nourishment he needs to survive, so you’ll just have to chance it.  Best of luck to you.”  Come on people!  This is exactly what our bodies were created to do, and if you would be in her position and choose not to help that baby, then shame on you.  This isn’t controversial, it’s compassion.  Something we could use a little more of in our world.

-Speaking of compassion, why doesn’t anyone have any for Bristol Palin?  I’m sure you’ve heard that she and Levi Johnston broke up recently.  This announcement seems to delight a number of people.  Why is that?  I have heard many dripping-with-sarcasm comments expressing surprise at this outcome.  Am I surprised?  No, I’m not.  The odds were not in their favor.  But I don’t get any satisfaction from it. 

This is a baby who will grow up in a broken home, people.  Does that not sadden you?  Critics and comedians, what is your point here?  This situation has nothing to do with politics and nothing to do with the governor, but disagreeing with her political stance has either clouded your judgement tremendously, or you are a bunch of nasty, heartless people.  I don’t know which the case is, you tell me.  All I know is that we have another set of teenage parents with a very long and difficult road in front of them, and now they don’t even have each other to cling to for support.  We have a baby who will not grow up with the benefit of two parents under the same roof.  And we have a lifetime of challenges and struggles facing them all. 

I don’t know what that path is like.  I do know that it isn’t easy, and would be even more difficult with the media scrutiny they are under.  Instead of tearing them down (it seems they are getting enough of that already), I’ve been lifting them up in my prayers.  It would be nice if you’d consider doing the same. 

-Jon & Kate Gosselin are going through a difficult time in their marriage.  And somehow people are happy about this.  Again, is it surprising?  No.  The strain of 8 children and a reality tv show must be tremendous.  Add to that their polar opposite personalities, and I can certainly understand them having some problems right now.  What I can’t understand is the public reaction to that. 

Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage?  Is that not something worth fighting to save?  When did our lifelong promises to stay together, for better or worse, become so disposable?

If this couple is struggling then I am sad for them.  I hope they will work it out, for themselves and for those 8 little children.  They have a lot on the line, and they certainly don’t need public opinion making their lives even more difficult.  Yes, I realize that they put themselves out there because of their show, a move that they get much criticism for.  But I wonder exactly how many people would be presented with an offer for fame and fortune and say no thanks.  My guess? – not nearly as many who like to boast that they would.  And I sincerely doubt that when they agreed to do the show, they realized fully what they were signing up for.  An error in judgement?  Perhaps.  But since we’re all guilty of those, perhaps we’d be best served by remembering our own faults and shutting our mouths a little more.

I think a lot of this has to do with what my friend Sondra calls macro-micro situations.  People feel perfectly at ease belittling and mocking celebrities or those in the limelight, and the anonymity of the world wide web has unfortunately made that worse.  What one wouldn’t dream of saying to their next door neighbor, they blurt out easily about a public figure.  In the macro picture, apparently we have no shame.

I wonder if the people who say these things have children.  Would they allow their children to say such nasty things about their classmates at school?  Or would they tell those kids that kindness is important, and there is a time and a place to keep your mouth shut and your thoughts to yourself?  We as a society are failing to keep our mouths shut a lot these days, and I’m bothered by that.