Why I hate the Black Eyed Peas (and you should too!)

I pick Annie up from school every day. When walking out of the building today, I heard the Black Eyed Peas blaring from one of the 2nd grade classrooms. And I cringed.

I was actually so irritated that I briefly considered stopping in the room to tell the teacher why I was bothered. But considering that we have a fabulous school that allows us to request teachers, and considering that this particular teacher came highly recommended to me, and considering that I haven’t formally met her yet, and considering that she is #2 on my request list, I refrained.  Something tells me that I wouldn’t make the best impression with that.

Hey lady!  The BEPs are scumbags and I’m shocked and appalled that you would have them anywhere near impressionable young children.  You should turn that off immediately and oh by the way I think my child might be in your class next year nice to meet you.

Not so much.

But then later I thought hey, maybe I really should have told her.  Because chances are, she doesn’t know why I loathe them so.  And chances are, you don’t either.

The song that really put the BEPs on the map is a little ditty called ‘Let’s Get it Started.’  Familiar?  I’m sure, since it was EveryWhere for quite a while.  Commercials for the NBA, Apple, various television programs, in multiple video games, and – oh yeah – on the airwaves.  About 5 years ago, ‘Let’s Get it Started’ had us surrounded.   Nominated for Record of the Year and Rap Song of the Year, and Grammy award winner of Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group in 2005.  By all accounts, a huge commercial success.

But what most of you don’t know was that the song wasn’t actually released in 2005.  Not the first time, anyway.  The first time it came out was in 2003, on the album Elephunk.  And it had a different name.

“Let’s Get Retarded”

Seriously. 

The lyrics weren’t marketable, for obvious reasons.  So they changed them, and poof!  Commercial success.  But no one seems to know or care about what came before that. 

Except me.  I still care.  And I think you should, too.

The R-word is beyond insensitive.  It is beyond distasteful.  It’s cruel.  It’s demeaning.

It degrades and devalues a large group of the population, simply for their existence.

As my friend Darcie said, there are other words that were once used to belittle, based solely on the color of one’s skin.  And we are quick to notice and shun those who would use such offensive language.  So why is this word any different?

Don’t tell me I’m overly sensitive.  Don’t tell me it’s meant to describe a way of dancing.  Don’t tell me it doesn’t matter.

It matters.

I’m a Pittsburgh girl, and a die-hard Steelers fan.  You may have heard that we have a bit of a crap-storm swirling right now, in the form of Ben Roethlisberger.  He’s accused of assaulting several women (among other indecent behavior) and his jerseys are now worthless.  Why?  Because no one wants to appear supportive of such scum.

I was once a die-hard Michael Jordan fan, with an extensive collection of memorabilia.  All virtually worthless now, thanks to his less-than-impressive personal life.

Tiger Woods.  Need I say more?

Don’t tell me we don’t care about nasty behavior, because clearly, we do.  We care when it affects women or children or wives or blacks.  We just don’t seem to care when it affects the disabled.

But I care. 

My daughter is in a collaborative classroom because I requested it.  She spends her day with children struggling simply to speak, and she learns side by side with children that are still working on basic reading.  She does this because I care.  Because these children matter to me.  Because I believe that these children are her equals, and I want her to know that, too.  I am committed to collaborative education, and Lord willing we will continue to be a part of it.

And because of that, I am personally offended by the Black Eyed Peas.  Their song isn’t funny.  It isn’t cute.  And it isn’t excusable.

If they apologize, I may reconsider.  (Though hey, how are we faring on accepting Michael Richards’ apology? hmmm, not so good, huh?)  But then again, I’m not holding my breath.  It’s been due for 7 years, and there’s so sign of it yet.

So yeah, I guess I do wish I’d stopped in that classroom.  Maybe the teacher doesn’t know.  Certainly I hope that is the case.  But she should know, and so should you.

We make statements with our money.  Our dollar is often the most powerful way we can make our voices heard.  And I, for one, will not allow my dollar to say that I support lyrics like these. 

Please, don’t you support them either.

(If you don’t click the link, let me fill you in – they also replace ‘retarded’ with ‘dumb’, ‘cuckoo’, ‘[ignorant]‘, and ‘stupid’.  And they urge you to ‘bob your head like epilepsy’.  But of course ‘in this context there’s no disrespect.’  Sure.)

I’m a woman who has boycotted Rally’s for 14 years because of their oral-sex simulating Big Buford commercials, so yeah, I can totally skip your skanky music.

Black Eyed Peas, you suck.

Derby Day!

Or just May 1st, to those of you that don’t live in Kentucky.  I know it’s not that exciting to most of the world, but around these parts, it’s a pretty big deal.

Unfortunately, the weather today Sucks with a capital S.  We’re supposed to have torrential downpours all weekend, accumulating about 6 inches.  The weatherman said that it’s a ‘soak you to the underwear’ kind of rain. 

I’m sad about this, not because I personally give a crap, but because one of Annie’s teachers is going.  I loaned her an outfit and gave her a turn-around-and-look-at-that-fabulous-hat to wear, and she looked amazing in it.  It just won’t have quite the same wow factor in a monsoon.

As for the festivities, the girls have been warming up for the big event all week in school.  They made Derby hats, dyed silk jockey jerseys, made stick horses, and even had their own races.  Next week Annie’s class is visiting the Kentucky Derby Museum.

For this afternoon, Annie is mainly hoping for better luck with the horse draw.  (For the uneducated – throw the horses names in a bag, people pay to draw one, winner takes all.  Around our house each horse’s name costs a dime, and Pappap and Grama are the main consumers.)  Not only has Annie never won, she’s also picked a horse that died right there on the track.  Yup.  Ugly break, in come the vets, and next thing you know, they’re putting it down, right then and there.  She was horrified.

So my wishes for the day – at least some break in the rain, a fun day for Heather (the other one), a lucky draw for one of the girls, and no gruesome horse deaths for all. 

Raise a mint julep (or in my case, sweet tea) glass with me?

O shame, where is thy blush?

Unlike the rest of the country, I never jumped on the American Idol bandwagon.  It’s my personality – I eschew all things popular.  If everyone else is doing it, you’re generally safe to assume that I am not.  Two glaring exceptions are Disney (of course) and Glee (and I’m genuinely surprised that this offbeat show is so popular).

So American Idol – clearly not for me.

Also, I loathe ‘reality’ tv.

Yes, actually I can feel you cringe.  Sorry.

But last year, worlds collided when Disney World built an American Idol attraction.  I had the opportunity to tour the set and get the behind-the-scenes scoop on the whole attraction, and it was interesting enough to make me tune in to the 2009 Idol season.

Mostly unremarkable for me.

None of the artists really grabbed me, and the overall show was just moderately entertaining.  But dutifully, I DVR’d the new episodes last week, which I just finished watching.

Appalling.

And unlike the rest of the country, I’m not talking about Pants on the Ground or any number of other not-good singers who auditioned.  Largely I’m not even referring to Simon Cowell, who has been remarkably subdued in his criticism this season.  (A most welcome change, I might add)

No, I’m talking about Mary J. Blige.  To a lesser extent, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi.  To the fullest and utmost, the viewing audience of this show.

Shame on all of you.

I really can’t believe I am about to say this, but I agree with Rosie O’Donnell wholeheartedly.  Almost two years ago she said “Is that what America thinks is entertainment?  To make fun of someone’s physical appearance and then when they leave the room laugh hysterically at them?  The whole thing, it’s terribly sad to me.”

To me too, Rosie.

In case you didn’t see it, meet Jesse.

Mary J. Blige, your stock dropped through the floor in my eyes.

Shame on you for laughing in this kid’s face.  Shame on you for being even more cold and heartless than Simon Cowell, whom everyone expects to have the compassion of a serial killer.  Kara tried to cover for you, to give you an excuse for your bad behavior.  It was the best she could manage and it was quick thinking on her part, but still a thinly veiled disguise.

And shame on all of you, too, that tune in every week to laugh at people like this.

What kind of people do that? 

I know that some people who go on this show are ‘asking’ for it.  They dress in crazy costumes, they behave bizarrely, they are very obviously trying to grab their 15 minutes of fame a la William Hung.  While I don’t condone mocking people, I don’t get overly undone about a chuckle at the expense of those who intentionally put themselves out there for a laugh.

Does Jesse seem like one of those people to you? 

He strikes me as an unsuspecting victim of a mean-spirited producer, condescending judges, and a cruel viewing audience, all getting their jollies out of belittling someone who did not ‘ask’ for it.  Jesse was manipulated and blindsided.  And shame on everyone who found that amusing.

This isn’t about hand-holding and sweetness.  I don’t expect the show to be all sunshine and roses.  Some of the auditioners do need to hear that they shouldn’t plan on a career in music, and sometimes the truth hurts.  But no one deserves to be belittled.  Laughing in someone’s face isn’t entertaining, it’s cruel.  I am raising 3 children and if one of them ever behaved that way, they would face an immediate and harsh reprimand.  I’d be willing to bet that most of you wouldn’t allow your children to make fun of a classmate in that manner either. 

So consider, don’t your actions speak louder than your words?  If you spend your evening curled up on the sofa laughing at people like Jesse, then you’re sending the message to your kids that making fun of someone is ok – cool, even. 

So yes, I agree with Rosie.  It makes me terribly sad as well.

We’re really a nation full of jerks sometimes.  And worse, too stupid to be ashamed of ourselves.

We did it – we had a date!

After just recently blogging about our lack of alone time, we were presented with such an opportunity last Saturday night. My parents invited all 3 girls to spend the night with them, so we had a free evening on our hands. I have to admit that I was more than a little tempted to spend it checking items off of my lengthy to-do list (taxes still undone, bathroom I want to paint, underground pet fence to finish…) But I refrained, and Chris and I actually had a very nice, indulgent, RARE do-nothing night together.

We started by going for a spray tan. Romantic right? I know. But we leave for Disney in 5 short days, and I’d like to not have glowing white legs when we arrive. I opted for the Versa Spa at Sun Tan City since it was half-price weekend, and I was quite pleased…though it’s a tad cold when it’s sprayed on. Took my breath away a bit. Since I was going to look all tan and beautiful tan, my husband decided he’d go for it as well.   I took advantage of his absence and bought myself 4 new bottles of overpriced but fabulous OPI nail polish.  At 20% off, I’d be crazy not to, right?

However, modest as he is, Chris remained, um – how shall I say this? - partially clothed while he was sprayed.  His exact words aren’t publishable, but they involved him expressing concern about the chemicals that might be in the spray, and what damage they might do to sensitive body parts.   He tells me this only after we leave, at which point I have a good laugh at his expense and point out that he can now consider the bottom half of his wardrobe ruined.  He didn’t believe me for several more hours.  Fool.

From there we were off to the movies, where we saw Taken.  It was a very intense movie, and I was on edge through the whole thing.  Perhaps having daughters myself made it more personal, but it definitely struck a nerve with me.  And it was rated PG-13, which was a refreshing change.  I love watching good, thrilling movies that aren’t filled with smut or foul language, and they are unfortunately hard to find. 

Side topic here:  How much does it cost to go to the movies where you live?  Chris paid so I didn’t look at the individual prices, but our movie theater offers free refills on large popcorn and soda.  We shared one of each, and our total with tickets was $21.  Not too bad, I think.  Definitely a lot cheaper than it was in Louisville.

Anyway, from there we went to Chili’s and enjoyed the Triple Dipper Dinner, many Appletinis, and college basketball.  Ok, so I didn’t really enjoy that last one.  But it was present, and the Appletinis took away some of its annoying qualities, so it wasn’t all bad.  Reality came crashing back when we had to stop at Wal-Mart to buy diapers on the way home, but it was actually a fun stop.  We’d completely forgotten what it was like to go to the store sans little people.  Much faster and much less whiny.  Love that.

And we returned home to play some Uno before turning in…and sleeping until 10am!  Unheard of!

All in all it was a really great night, and I’m so glad we were able to do it.  Such a small thing I know, especially to those of you who do this more than once every 2 years, but for us it was a really rare treat.  Big thanks to Mom and Dad for making it possible.  I know they wanted the kids to come over so they could enjoy time together, and I know that the girls certainly did, but Mommy and Daddy did too.  We missed each other. 

Monsters vs. Aliens – my early review

I could sum this up with one word: Don’t.

But you know me, I won’t let it rest there.  So, in continuing my recent ‘complaints about cartoons’ trend, let me elaborate for you.

Like millions of other families, we watched the preview during the Super Bowl with our 3-D glasses.  I wasn’t impressed, but I wasn’t outright horrified, either.  That was because they didn’t show enough. 

A couple of weeks ago I took myself  my daughters to see the Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience movie, because I knew that I they would love it.  And we all did.  But the previews before the movie, not so much.  Whatever happened to tailoring the previews to the movie?  Sort of an ‘if you like this, you might also like these’ approach.  Either that practice has been abandoned, or whoever did that for this one isn’t very bright.  First we were treated to a preview of witchcraft (aka Harry Potter).  Seeing as how the number one reason I love the Jonas Brothers is because of their devout Christianity, the witchcraft was a slap in the face.  (I recognize that I am among a small minority of Christians who feel this way, but I do.  And that’s a whole other blog post, in which I would elaborate and then be harshly criticized.  Maybe someday I’ll do it anyway.  But I digress.) 

Moving on…the next preview was for Monsters vs. Aliens, and I can sum this up with another word too: Dreamworks.  That’s right folks, not Disney.  Dreamworks.  Their standards are clearly not the same.  A few of the lovely tidbits the trailer illuminated for us:

-A girl with short hair is referred to as a boy.  Someone points out the error, to which the monster responds, ‘That’s not a girl, look at his boobies.’  Awesome.  Mockery, sexuality, body image issues, vanity – all inn one package.  This joke is fun on so many levels.  woo-hoo!

-A half-fish man is discovered and referred to as ‘The Missing Link’.  Nothing like a little Darwin for the pre-school set. I adore hidden agendas in children’s movies.  Like Happy Feet or Wall-E.  That’s just great.  Then I don’t even need to teach my children to think for themselves, I can just plop them in front of a video and let the people in Hollywood teach them values.

-A exclamation is made along the lines of ‘What the Fffffuuuungle’ (not the real end of the word, but something just a tad off of The F-word.  Clever play for youngsters, right? Ha, ha, ha.  That’s just so funny.  The only thing funnier will be when children all over the country start saying it themselves.  Now that will be freaking hilarious.

I could go on, but I won’t.  I think this pretty well makes my point. 

I’m sure this movie will still make millions, which saddens me.  It also saddens me to read the long list of celebs who voiced the movie.  Lots of people I enjoy watching contributed to this piece of garbage.  It has a PG rating, which since it’s animated I’m sure most parents will completely ignore.  It bring to mind movies like Tropic Thunder.  Apparently ‘taste’ and ‘class’ and ‘propriety’ are out the window.

Just skip it.  Please.  Don’t help them make money off of peddling this to our kids.  They deserve better.

Musical Interlude

Not much to say today, but I thought I would share one of my new favorite songs. I’m sure you are laughing, wondering why a woman my age loves the Jonas Brothers like I do…chuckle on. I really do love them. I believe they are good kids, and I pray they can stay that way given the intense pressure they are under. I like to support people of upstanding character whenever possible.

So without further ado…

The movie thing

I got this from a friend. You’re supposed to bold the movies you’ve seen, and then add 3 more to the list when you’re done, and pass it on to the next person. I’m more of a reader than a movie watcher, so it will be interesting to see how this compares. I recently did the BBC book list and I’d read 56 of the 100.

Anyway, on to the subject at hand.

1. CITIZEN KANE (1941)
2. CASABLANCA (1942)
3. THE GODFATHER (1972)
4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939) – only part – I leave when she hits munchkinland.
7. THE GRADUATE (1967)
8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)
9. SCHINDLER’S LIST (1993)
10. SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN (1952)

11. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)
13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957)
14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)
15. STAR WARS (1977)
16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)
17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)
18. PSYCHO (1960)
19. CHINATOWN (1974)
20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST (1975)
21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)
22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)
23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)
24. RAGING BULL (1980)
25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982)
26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964)
27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967)
28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)
29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939)
30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948)
31. ANNIE HALL (1977)
32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974)
33. HIGH NOON (1952)
34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962)
35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)
36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969)
37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)
38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)
39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965)
40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)
41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)
42. REAR WINDOW (1954)
43. KING KONG (1933)
44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915)
45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)
46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)
47. TAXI DRIVER (1976)
48. JAWS (1975)
49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)
50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969)
51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)
52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953)
53. AMADEUS (1984)
54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)
55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)
56. M*A*S*H (1970)
57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)
58. FANTASIA (1940)
59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955)
60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)
61. VERTIGO (1958)
62. TOOTSIE (1982)
63. STAGECOACH (1939)
64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)
65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)
66. NETWORK (1976)
67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962)
68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951)
69. SHANE (1953)
70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971)
71. FORREST GUMP (1994)
72. BEN-HUR (1959)
73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)
74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)
75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)
76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)
77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)
78. ROCKY (1976)
79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)
80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)
81. MODERN TIMES (1936)
82. GIANT (1956)
83. PLATOON (1986)
84. FARGO (1996)
85. DUCK SOUP (1933)
86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)
87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
88. EASY RIDER (1969)
89. PATTON (1970)
90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)
91. MY FAIR LADY (1964)
92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)
93. THE APARTMENT (1960)
94. GOODFELLAS (1990)
95. PULP FICTION (1994)
96. THE SEARCHERS (1956)
97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)
98. UNFORGIVEN (1992)
99. GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER (1967)
100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942)
101. THE CAINE MUTINY (1954)
102. METROPOLIS (1927)
103. PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959)

If I’m counting correctly, that’s 24. And I’ll add…

104. THE STORY OF US
105. SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER
106. BEING JOHN MALKOVICH

Play along, won’t you please? Give me a link when you do – I’d love to see how my list compares to others!

The Oscars

I didn’t see all of them, but I very much enjoyed Hugh Jackman as host, and I liked the new 5-person presentations.

I did NOT like having to listen to Bill Maher mock religion, or Sean Penn sharing his politics. I had to point out to him, via tv, that the very same President he was praising is on record opposed to the law Penn was lecturing us about.

I like celebs a lot more when they keep their lectures and condescension and politics to themselves, thankyouverymuch.

Oh, and his explanation about not having enough time to thank his wife – please. I don’t buy that. It would take half a second to say, ‘Thanks Robin.’ What a jerk.

That’s about it. Your thoughts?

Now THIS is the Christmas spirit

Richard Paul Evans is one of my favorite authors, and if you haven’t read any of his books you definitely should, ASAP. You won’t be sorry. But besides being a great writer, he is a great example of the American Dream.

About fifteen years ago he sat down and wrote a story for his young daughters. A simple, heartfelt gift to capture his love for them. He finished the piece in six weeks, and was so pleased with the result that he printed off 20 copies of it to give to family members and their closest friends. He touched their hearts, and they were inspired to pass the story along to others, who passed it along, who passed it along…you get the idea. Encouraged by his small success, in 1993 he was inspired to seek out an agent and a publisher for his little story. He failed. Not to be discouraged, he went the route of a vanity press and produced the books himself, distributing them to local bookstores where they flew off the shelves.

Once again encouraged by the book’s success, Evans published the book nationally. Again on his own dime. And the book flew to the top of the New York Times bestseller list. The publishing houses who had rejected him before were suddenly very interested in this budding author, and a bidding war ensued. Simon & Schuster eventually won out, giving Mr. Evans a $4.2 million dollar advance. For the book they didn’t want before. Evans had only published it in paperback before, but now that the publishers had it they released it in hardcover, and in 1995 that Christmas gift for two little girls became the first ever book to be #1 on the New York Times bestseller list for both hardcover and paperback editions.

That was the year that I found Richard Paul Evans, and the year that I opened for myself The Christmas Box. I was so moved by the story that I cried – hard – while I read. I devoured that book in one night, and read it three more times that holiday season. And now, 13 years later, I still read it a couple of times a year.

In 1999 I was delighted to be able to meet Mr. Evans at a book signing in Birmingham, Alabama. Of course he is now a renowned author with numerous titles under his belt – all worth reading. He is the most successful self-published author of all time. And I was thrilled to learn a few weeks ago that he is coming to Louisville next week, not only for a book signing but to speak. In my excitement to gather the details, I visited his website where I was blessed yet again by this great man, and I wanted to share that with you.
He is very kindly, very generously offering a bit of Christmas cheer to all of us, and I am so touched. I’ve never seen another offer like it, which is further proof of his character.

For FREE, Richard Paul Evans is offering you a case of his paperback bestseller, The Christmas Box, just to make your own holiday gift-giving a little bit easier. An entire case, 25 copies, that you can share with your family and friends, and all he asks is that you not resell the books for profit. I was so moved, and very happy to pay the nominal shipping charge to get these books. I intend to tuck them in with teacher gifts, our Angel Tree presents for the elderly, and perhaps for a few friends and family members who haven’t read it yet.

If you’d like to share this inspirational story with your nearest and dearest, just visit the free book page on his website to place your own order. The offer is valid through December 1st or while supplies last.

Let’s talk serious literature

my current favorite kind, that is. Namely children’s books. LOL

In reading to the girls each night I often think of things I mean to blog about later. And then of course I forget to do so. So tonight, after reading 2 stories, saying our prayers, and tucking three sweet little angels into bed, I raided their library. I have beside me a stack of things I’ve been meaning to mention for some time now. So in no particular order…

-My favorite page from Kevin Henkes Julius, The Baby of the World:
“JULIUS, THE GERM OF THE WORLD. BY ME,”said Lilly. “Once upon a time there was a baby. His name was Julius. Julius was really a germ. Julius was like dust under your bed. If he was a number, he would be zero. If he was a food, he would be a raisin. Zero is nothing. A raisin tastes like dirt. The End,” said Lilly. The story earned her ten minutes in the uncooperative chair.

If you haven’t read this book, please do. It’s really quite funny and not as mean as it sounds – there is a happy ending. For that matter, all of Kevin Henkes books are worthwhile. My personal favorite is another book about Lilly, Lilly and the Purple Plastic Purse. I’d say his books are good for the 2-5 year old range.

-Seasonally appropriate, I love Jerry Seinfeld’s Halloween book! It’s probably designed for slightly older kids – say in the 30+ range. LOL It could be read to little ones (5-10), but honestly they won’t appreciate it like you will. They won’t be able to wax poetic with you about the costumes of yore. Trust me. Buy this book. Pretend it’s for your kids. And then love it up. And if you can find it, definitely buy the coveted collector’s edition which includes a CD of Seinfeld himself reading the book. It’s classic.

So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you’re a kid, your brain can’t even process the idea. You’re like, “What is this? What did you say? Someone’s giving out candy? EVERYONE WE KNOW is just GIVING OUT candy?…I’ll wear anything I have to wear. I’ll do anything I have to do to get the candy away from those FOOLS who are so stupidly GIVING IT AWAY!”

-Probably my favorite children’s author ever is Shel Silverstein. And I ask you, is he really a children’s author? Is the man really writing to little kids, or just to the kid in all of us?

Listen to the MUSTN’TS, child,
Listen to the DON’TS
Listen to the SHOULDN’TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me –
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

(from Where the Sidewalk Ends)

-And speaking of Mr. Silverstein…as much as I adore his poetry books (the above, plus Falling Up, A Light in the Attic…) I’ve always been troubled by a few of his books. Namely, The Missing Piece and The Giving Tree. I find myself thinking of this often, since as luck would have it, Annie loves both stories. They seem so…metaphorical. So what do you think – are they about marriage? Looking at Shel’s personal life one might well believe that they are. And if that’s true, it makes me sad. So while these stories may be great, once I looked at them in this light I’ve never been able to read them the same way again. And on the nights Annie selects either book, I have to choose another one to follow so we can end the evening on a more positive note. Have you ever felt this, or is this just another example of my insanity?

And in closing, another mini book giveaway. Do you or your child like Junie B. Jones? (I do like the stories, but don’t like that I have to edit them to remove the ‘hates’ and the ‘stupids’) I have a shiny new copy of Junie B. Jones has a Peep in her Pocket that’s just waiting for a lucky reader. If you’d like to enter, just leave me a comment here. Tell me what you think of my over-analyzing children’s authors, or recommend to me another great book or author for little ones. I’d love the inspiration! I will draw a winner at midnight on Thursday, October 16th.

Good luck!