How to Paper Mache

AKA – titles still not getting any better

Yesterday I mentioned the paper mache lanterns I made for Annie’s Tangled-themed birthday party. Several people told me that they didn’t know how to paper mache, so I thought I’d post a quick tutorial. It is super-duper easy, cheap, and fun to do!

Decide on the shape you want. You can use a balloon to make a circle (or 3 balloons to make a Mickey Mouse head!). Since I wanted lanterns, I used an oatmeal container for my ‘mold’.

I started by taping a piece of parchment paper to the outside:

Next, you’ll make a mixture of flour, corn starch, and slightly warm water. Equal parts of the dry ingredients, and then slowly add enough water to make a thin gravy-like consistency.

For the lanterns, I used torn strips of white paper because I wanted them to be transparent. If you will be painting your creation, feel free to use newsprint.

Dip a strip of paper into the paste, and use your fingers to slide off the excess flour mixture.

Gently press the strip onto your mold

And then repeat, with a slight overlap of edges.

Once you have one solid layer, allow to dry. This can be done overnight, or if you’re in a hurry, with the aid of a hair dryer.

For my lanterns, I used only 2 layers. For a pinata, I’d recommend 3-5 layers, depending on how strong your little batters will be.

Once the first layer is dry, add your second layer. To make the Tangled lanterns pictured yesterday, I then pressed a layer of pale yellow tissue paper onto the damp outside of the mold.

And then gently slide off of the container

to finish drying while you work on the next one.

I used this same method to make the pinata, and then topped with a cone shape to resemble the tower.

Pardon my creative mess in the background.

And there you have it – easy-peasy paper mache!

I’m going to be using this same method to create larger-than-life gumdrops for Catie’s Candyland party in a few weeks. Stay tuned!

Tangled Birthday Party

AKA-When I take a blogging hiatus, my titles suffer.

I’ve been working like a maniac on an all-out birthday party extravaganza for Catie.

It’s a bit early.

Her birthday isn’t until June, but summer birthdays mean friends on vacation and busy summer schedules that make parties a bit challenging. Take it from an August baby – it stinks. So I promised Catie we’d celebrate in May, before school let out, so her friends could be there. But then my sister and my niece planned to come visit in April, and since we see them so very infrequently, she wanted them to be a part of the party. So yeah…we’re having a party 2 months before her actual birthday. But I’m requesting no presents, so it won’t look greedy, will it?

All of that led me to realize that I’d never posted about Annie’s birthday party, which was, um…6 weeks ago?

I suck.

Her theme was Tangled.

I thought I was soooooo clever when I came up with this invitation idea:

But then later I googled ideas for food and saw that someone else had a similar idea, and did it better. Drats.

The good news is that I was able to download her cute banner to print and hang at the party as well.

I also made those paper mache lanterns, which worked very well with the theme. {More on those tomorrow}

The kids could color

and paint salt dough ornaments.

I thought I was so clever, making little crowns and frogs to fit the theme.

Until after I finished making 40 of them and Annie pointed out to me that Pascal was a chameleon and not a frog.

Whoops.

That also affected my ‘flip the frog chameleon into the frying pan’ game.

My fabulous mother drew out this super cute poster – perfect for playing ‘Pin the nose on Flinn’

She also painted this fabulous tower – the kids could climb up in and get their picture taken as Rapunzel.

{huge hit!}

But most breathtaking of all was the cake. Ah, my mom creates the very best cakes! And this was no exception.

No detail was overlooked

check out this light fixture!

and even the inside was ornately decorated.

It was a cake truly fit for a princess.

And princess she was – my Annie shone.

Her one true love was there, and they danced.

She told me later that him being there made her day completely perfect.

Funny.

Her being here makes my life completely perfect.

I love this kid.

One of my favorite moments was the pinata.

Well, the pinata aftermath, actually.

The tower was busted and as the kids scurried to scoop up the candy, I hear Annie’s small voice, urgently telling the kids to take their bounty to the table so it can all be divided equally.

Methinks someone is a bit too high strung for pinatas.

She recovered nicely, though. And has only mentioned how stressful that was twice since the party.

Oy.

On school and illness…and gratitude

The last time I posted was a normal day. The day after? Notsomuch. They day after began a whirlwind of doctors, hospitals, tests, medicines, therapies, and half-tank fill-ups, since I refuse to let my gauge get below half a tank, since even half costs me $40ish dollars and I know I’d cry if I saw the bll for a complete fill-up.

Sidebar – who doesn’t love a good run-on sentence?

So for the past few weeks, it’s been hectic. Stressful. I’ve spent a lot of time on my knees, praying for my sweet daughter. And I’ve spent a lot of time wishing I could carry her burdens myself. I’m experienced.

When I was an adolescent, I was sick. Very, very sick. In fact, between 7th & 11th grades, I missed more of each school year than I attended. You name the symptom, I had it. Hospitals were my second home. I learned how to reset my own IV alarm, since it went off so frequently. I knew exactly how many steps it was from the front door to the ER bed. And I knew that one day, I would die of this mysterious illness that no one could diagnose.

I believed this wholeheartedly, and I even wrote a will. You know, for all of my 15 year old possessions. In truth the will was more confessional, telling the secrets that seemed too big to reveal in the real life of a teenager. It was all very tragic and Molly Ringwald would most definitely have played me in the movie. This gave me an odd satisfaction.

At the time I felt bad for what I was putting my parents through. Not that I could help it exactly, but still, I’m a person with guilt. I hated that I cost them so much money. I hated that I messed up their work schedules. I hated that they worried so much about me.

After tens of thousands of dollars spent, countless specialists visited, and more invasive testing that anyone should ever have to go through, there was still no answer. Doctors began telling my parents to take me to therapy because I must be crazy. Which certainly is true, but thankfully my parents believed in me enough to know that my insanity wasn’t of the hypochondriac variety. And then one day, literally almost overnight, my problems vanished. I was healthy again. Whole again. Normal for the first time in 5 years.

We moved.

We still have no definitive answer for what caused my problems. My parents didn’t move to cure me – we had no idea that was even possible – it was just a blessed coincidence. We moved to a new state and realized that my problem must have been an environmental allergy. The school building that I was in was making me sick, quite literally. I was never ill before or after I left that building, and I wasn’t the only one affected.

At the time, though, my principal was, um, less than understanding. That’s the kindest way to phrase it. At one point he told my mom that if I didn’t return to school for the half day before Christmas break, I would have to repeat my sophomore year. It was an in-school dance, and I spent the entire time laying down on the bleachers with a 105 degree fever. I was taken to the hospital via ambulance later that day, and admitted for 1 week.

You might think an apology was in order, and certainly you would be right, but none came. Because he was, as my sister once put it, ‘a gigantic waste of flesh’. And I know it’s very petty of me, but even now (with high school just a couple of decades years behind me), I feel angry with him when I remember this. I’d like to smack him for his jerkish insensitivity. And I’d like to have screamed when he sent me a friend request on Facebook. Decline!

Why am I telling you all of this? Because over the past couple of weeks, I have experienced exactly the opposite of Mr. Buttface. [Sorry for the language, mom] My daughter’s teachers and principals have shown us an outpouring of love that makes me all the more grateful to be right where we are. To be in a school that nurtures my child both academically and emotionally. That meets her mental and her physical needs. And one that is ready and willing and even happy to help us.

Catie collapsed at school, and the phone call I got said that she’d either fainted or had a seizure. When I went to collect her, Lilly in tow, I found that the principal had carried her down the long hallway to the nurse (and Catie is solid so this is no easy task). She sat with her and held her as the nurse examined her. And she waited by her side until I got to the school. She walked us out to our car. She even offered to keep Lilly at the school while I took Catie to the hospital. Think about that for a minute. Over 700 students in her charge, and she was willing to take on one more, just to be kind. Just to help her student who needed it. Just to make an awful day for us a little bit easier.

Above and beyond. It’s like our school motto. Every teacher, every assistant, every secretary, every janitor. Above and beyond. And I am so very thankful for each and every one of them.

I know firsthand what it is like to be in the opposite situation, which makes this experience even sweeter.

I still don’t have an answer for what is causing Catie’s problems, and there are many more tests to come. I’m still not comfortable letting her out of my sight, since I continue to get phone calls. But I am very, very thankful to know that if she can’t be with me, she is definitely in the next best place.  She has a large family of people who love her, and it includes the staff at Bardstown Primary.

Thank God for that.

Spilled Milk {Wordless Wednesday}

Alternate title: How I knew my day was going to suck

Woke up to the sounds of a brand-new gallon crashing and a 5 year old shrieking. Happy Wednesday y’all!

This post is part of Wordless Wednesday from 5 Minutes for Mom.

Happy IDA Day!

Love is in the air, right?

Blech.

I kinda hate Valentine’s Day.

The stuffed animals and chocolates and overpriced flowers and card aisles overflowing with pink hearts and mushy sentiments…make me throw up in my mouth a little.

I’m not down on love; quite the contrary. I love love. I love people who are in love.

I don’t love that people will express that love today by giving their significant other a 4-foot teddy bear.

Throw up. Mouth.

Seriously, anything done today has very little meaning. The other 364 days a year? Go to town. Love it up. Because if you bring your lady flowers on June 14th, it’s clearly because you love her and wanted to brighten her day. Four months earlier? You’re a sucker willing to pay inflated prices because Hallmark guilted you into it.

All of the jewelry and chocolate and lingerie commercials? Throw. Up.

I not-so-affectionately refer to this as IDA day – Insincere Displays of Affection.

My plans include shipping the weekend orders (shameless plug), shuttling to not one but two different Girl Scout meetings (and picking up cookies!), and hopefully squeezing in time to straighten up my studio. If I’m really efficient I’ll pull off a trip to the grocery, too.

Romance out the wazoo over here, let me tell you.

The one part of the holiday that I do enjoy is the kid stuff. The cutesy homemade cards, the decorated boxes for the school exchange, the sweet treats baked for friends. That I can do, so do it I did.

Super cute, right?

And more than that, these suckers taught me a life lesson. A friend gave me the recipe and I was so excited to make these…until I saw that 2 months later, the recipe was also printed in Family Fun magazine. I immediately felt deflated, like my cool treat was reduced to ‘Oh yeah, I saw that in Family Fun too.’

Bakingcandycanesuckersforyourownglorymuch?

{hanging head in shame}

In case you don’t get Family Fun and you’re still dazzled and want to make your own, read on.

You’ll need some miniature candy canes and lollipop sticks to start out with

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees, and lay out your suckers on a greased cookie sheet.

Be sure to use your oldest, most stained, super worn baking sheet, especially if you plan to take pictures to share with the world. That makes you look klassy.

Pop into the oven for 2 minutes – watch the clock very closely because they will melt and be ugly very soon after that 2 minute mark. Remove and quickly pinch the candy cane ends onto the lollipop sticks. They will be warm and soft, but won’t burn your fingers. Unless you’re a wimp.

Your frames should look like this:

Again, in order to keep up that klassy appearance, be sure to snap your pictures in front of liquor bottles, particularly when you are showcasing kids projects. That’s awesome.

{Responsible Parenting Note – My kids weren’t drinking. This was a Christmas gift and I used it in that nasty honey-lemon-whiskey concoction that aided my pneumonia recovery. 3 weeks prior to this. I’m just too lazy to hide the evidence. And also the bottles are FULL.}

Now you’re going to need some white chocolate and perhaps a few sprinkles.

You can melt the chocolate in a pastry bag and pipe it into the suckers, but I’m not too handy with an icing bag. I opted for a simple dish and spoon.

And then I spooned it into the suckers whilst they lay on waxed paper.

At this point you could call it a day and go for the less-is-more look

but around these parts, we like excessive embellishment.

They’ll only need to cool off for 5-10 minutes before they will be ready to wrap.

And if you’re like me, you’ll then wish you had made them sooner, since they make a nice little IDA Day decoration for the counter.

Enjoy your day peeps!

Celebrating Annabelle

I do some of my best thinking in the shower, usually with music playing to drown out the mayhem and destruction taking place while the children are left unattended. A few weeks ago I was listening to a Steven Curtis Chapman song that he wrote for his wife, but somehow the chorus seemed to fit my Annie.

And let me show you

What a treasure you are

A priceless gift from Heaven

To this thankful heart

And I want to take this lifetime

To celebrate you

This child, this precious, beautiful girl, is definitely Heaven-sent. She blesses me every day, in ways big and small. And I wonder sometimes if I am doing the same for her.

If anything I do could ever come close.

I’d been thinking that day about 1 Corinthians 13 – you know, the love chapter. It’s read so commonly at every wedding we attend, I wonder if people even pay attention anymore. I’m certainly guilty of glossing over it from time to time.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Annie is patient. Annie is kind.

She is slow to anger and quick to forgive.

I could go through this verse and remove every ‘love’ and substitute her name, and it would still fit.

This child embodies pure, unadulterated love and joy, every moment of every day.

And as I was thinking about this, I realized that very shamefully, the same could not be said for me. Not even close.

This child – this kind, generous, compassionate child – is what she is in spite of me.

I want to be more like her.

More worthy of being her mother.

More deserving of this wonderful daughter God has entrusted to me.

I want to celebrate you Annie – today and every day.

Happy Birthday, sugar… and thank you… for the best 8 years of my life.

Comfortably Ever After

If you could put any three people in a room together (along with yourself), who would they be and why?

This is a conversation that I recently listened to but did not participate in, primarily because at the time I was busy dying of pneumonia and completely unconcerned with anything other than the small chuck of lung I’d just coughed up.  The responses were interesting and varied -

James Garrison, Lee Harvey Oswald, and Jackie O ['she had to know something!']

Abe Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, and Barack Obama

Barbra Streisand, Liza Minnelli, Bette Midler

Yes, there was a gay man in on this conversation, and no, he didn’t pick the three you’re thinking.

Later, as I lay on the sofa barely clinging to life, I thought about this question and realized that as much as I might enjoy talking to these people individually [well ok, some of these people], the group convo didn’t really interest me.

Yesterday, I realized what three people I’d like to bring together. None famous – yet, anyway. None rich and powerful. Just three dear friends that have never met, but need each other.

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Bob is a friend I’ve had for more than half of my life, and I love him dearly. He’s in his late 30′s, good job, relatively debt-free, and a real catch. He’s good looking, he’s smart, he’s funny… and he might just marry a woman for all the wrong reasons. When he told me a few weeks ago that he was thinking of proposing I was stunned. We’d just talked about how she was ‘fine’. Comfortable. Easy to be around. You know, all the ‘good enough for right now’ phrases you could use to describe someone you’d date for a while, until someone better came along.

Bob would tell you that he doesn’t care about love – he’s perfectly content to fly solo. He’s not interested in romance. He’s practical, and he doesn’t get emotional – he makes decisions with his head. I disagree. If Bob were really happy on his own and he didn’t care about love, he wouldn’t be proposing. He’d be hanging out.

Instead, he’s willing to live comfortably ever after with a woman who is… ‘nice’.

And there’s a lot to be said about companionship, for sure. But a marriage that is solely based on it? I wish he could talk to Jen.

Jen is currently living in that ‘comfortable’ state, having married her college boyfriend when it was time to get married. He was nice enough, everyone expected it, she really did want to marry and have kids… So 15 years later, Jen has the kids… and a roommate.

They live separate lives, which is understandable since they had no passion to connect them in the first place. They even watch tv in separate rooms, so you can imagine where they’re sleeping. They’re like ships passing in the night, with nothing more to say to one another than information exchange.

‘Sam got an A on his history test’

‘Kelly needs to be picked up from dance at 4′

‘Did you pay the water bill?’

All of their time is spent separately, and Jen deeply regrets her decision to settle for ‘good enough’. She tells me there is no pain more deep than being lonely when you’re not alone. And I’d imagine her husband might feel the same… if he cared enough to talk about it. Whereas she is devastated and wants to make her marriage better, he is fine with what they have, miserable or not. He doesn’t care enough to work on improving it, and he shows no signs of leaving. So there they are… stuck.

I wish Jen could talk to Lisa, who has been there and done that. She too once married Mr. Right-on-Paper, only to find out several years and 2 kids down the road that what’s right on paper doesn’t translate well to what works in life. Mr. Right started feeling very wrong, especially after he left her and the kids for someone ‘better’. [No surprise, that someone better has been replaced a couple of times over by now]

Lisa was destroyed. A twenty-something young woman with 2 small children, a ‘career’ as a stay-at-home mom, and a sudden need to be the sole support for 3 people…she was overwhelmed. Terrified. And absolutely certain that the rest of her life would suck.

But God had another plan for Lisa, and along came Bill. A man who loved her and her children as if they were his own. A man who treated her like a princess, who adored her every quirk, who loved her in a deep and meaningful way. She was stunned to know that men like this even existed, and as the cliched song goes, she thanked God for the broken road it took to get her there. Lisa and Bill married of course, and have added two more children (and a cat) to their brood, and today have one of the happiest, most solid marriages I have ever seen.

Three people. One similar decision.

I wish they could talk to one another and really hear. Really listen.

But that rarely happens, right? We have our reasons and we justify them.

It’s good to marry for practical reasons and not passionate ones, because passion fades!

I’m 38 years old and I want to get married. I want to have kids. It’s now or never!

Of course we won’t always have intense feelings – that’s normal! Comfortable is a good thing!

Until it isn’t.

Oh Bob.

I wish you could understand that once hindsight becomes 20/20, it’s too late.

I wish you could feel what it’s like to walk in Jen’s shoes.

I wish you knew how incredibly rare it is to find an ending like Lisa’s.

Comfortable doesn’t cut it, my friend.

I hope you see that before it’s too late.

Don’t settle.

You deserve more… and so does she.

We lost. Here’s a consolation prize. {a giveaway}

Since I have nothing good to say right now for obvious, Sunday’s-big-game-was-spectacularly-craptastic reasons, this seemed like the perfect time for a giveaway. You get the goods, and I get away with not talking about the heartbreaking display of 3 turnover sucktitude. Moving right along…CSN Stores has provided me with a gift certificate for $40 to give away to one lucky reader. This credit can be used at any of their over 200 websites, where they sell everything from modern office furniture to cute cookware to chic lighting.

To enter, leave me a comment here and tell me your go-to smile guarantee. What cheers you up when you’re feeling down? Gets you out of a funk? Remedies your broken football dreams heart?

Drawing will be held on Wednesday, February 16th at 12 pm EST. One entry per comment on this blog post. If you’d like an additional entry, you can tweet about the contest (I am @hopelessnflawed on Twitter ) or post on Facebook about the giveaway, using the Facebook comment link below. Up to 3 entries per person.

Forty dollars of free shopping people – you know you want it!

* Contest open to residents of the US and Canada. Shipping not included.

The fine print:

I was not given anything to write this post. Well okay, technically I am being given a gift certificate but that’s for you, not me. I personally gained nothing but the pleasure of hosting a giveaway. And the opportunity to provide retail therapy for a disgruntled Steelers fan. If you were rooting for Green Bay…stick it.

Just kidding.

Sorta.

No not really.

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Update: The winner is #15 – Shel! Congratulations, and I will email you the details of the gift certificate. Thank you to everyone who entered!

No, I did not forget.

The Makeover Monday that I promised? Not happening.

And not because I didn’t try.

I made a rockin’ Steelers table runner for Caren.

I took pictures.

I mailed it out in plenty of time to arrive before the big game.

But the blogging? Notsomuch.

Technical difficulties in that I am unable to upload pictures.

Stupid WordPress.

I have my people on it and will be back with pictures as soon as the glitch is resolved.

In the meantime, I can only link to other people’s pictures, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to say that I must have this cake for Sunday.

Better get busy with the fondant.

Yinz won!

Thanks to everyone who entered!  The girls drew names out of a hat, and the winners are…

Grand prize – Caren – Crazy Catch

Crayon rolls – Mandy, John, and Jenny
I have emailed all of the winners requesting addresses. Caren has already responded and said that she’d like the table runner to use as a hostess gift, so I will be sending that out to her tomorrow. I will share pictures here tomorrow, too. Makeover Monday has been on hiatus for far too long.

Thanks again for entering, and Go Steelers!