Surprise packages

I saw this the other day:

And this:

And this one too:

Maybe it’s like a horoscope – vague enough that you can easily read it and think it fits your situation.

Maybe you only see what you want to see.

My friends on Facebook and Pinterest have been sharing lots of interesting tidbits recently. The IDSC posted a heartbreaking story about pregnancy screenings and mothers who choose to abort based on them. My friend Darcie posted about her daughter (who also happens to have Down syndrome), who thanked her mother for growing her. These things made me think back to when I was expecting Annabelle, and faced with the same decision – to screen or not to screen. I knew that she was my baby no matter what the test results, so my only question for my doctor was if the results could help in some way, the knowing in advance. He said that he and his wife never had the tests done themselves, and that was good enough for me. He’s a wonderful man and I trust him implicitly. His exact words were that they ‘vowed to love, feed, clothe, and take to church whomever God sent’, and no test would change that. {That, my friends, is a keeper}

Or maybe, as a friend suggested, they are all little signs that God was sending me, and I just didn’t know it at the time.

Signs to pave the way – prepare my heart, my mind, my attitude.

My family.

The girls have been, out of the blue, incessantly talking about babies. They’ve been looking at an old baby magazine my sister gave me when I was first expecting, fascinated by the pictures of the developing babies.

“It looks like an alien!”

“The heart beats when the baby is less than three weeks old!”

“Mom, this is SO cool!”

‘Yes dear it is,’ came my reply, and then silently in my head I added ‘and thank God that part of my life is over.’

I’m not a baby person, you see. I loved my own daughters when they were babies, of course. Babies of the World. And I even like other people’s babies, whom I can see and play with and then leave. But I don’t miss that stage even a tiny little bit. No more diapers, no more car seats, no more sleepless nights. Kids who can make their own breakfast and let me shower alone are where it’s at, and almost every day I think something along the lines of ‘I am *so* glad all that baby stuff is behind us.’

We have nothing baby left – not even anything toddler. I’ve cleaned house completely. No more maternity clothes, no more bulky plastic toys, no more strollers. And no pile of money available for any such cause, either. These days our ‘disposable’ income is all about medical bills, baby – Lilly’s eyes, Chris’s back.

Somewhere up there, God is having a hearty laugh at the plans we made. What we thought we knew.

Bwahahahaha!

I can almost hear Him. I imagine this to look something like my Pap, laughing ’til he’s red in the face, and then shaking his head at my foolishness. As if something like a semi-permanent 99.9% effective birth control method that is equally effective as having your tubes tied could change His plans for us.

As if it matters that I am old, or that we are unprepared.

That this is a very high risk situation, for both baby and momma, with lots of difficult decisions and scary possibilities to face.

Still, here we are, dazed and shocked and completely uncertain about everything…except that I am pregnant. Oh so very pregnant.

I saw this shirt and thought, ‘I need someone to buy this for me.’

{I can’t, obviously, because I have to buy the crib and the carseat and all that other stuff. Again.}

But in actuality it isn’t quite right, because I’m not really expecting baby #4. No, no – that would be too easy. Sometimes, when God wants to teach you something, instead of whispering, He chooses to smack you upside the head with it.

So I’m expecting babies #4 AND #5.

Not even kidding.

Well played, God. Well played.

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8 thoughts on “Surprise packages

  1. Lynne says:

    OMGosh – what amazing news!! Congrats on your double blessings – who said He doesn’t have a sense of humor? Hope you are feeling well!

    [Reply]

  2. Debbie says:

    I’m so excited for you, and oh my goodness. … I can only imagine your shock. You know it’ll be okay and they will be such a blessing. But, I’m sending hugs any way. :-)

    [Reply]

  3. WHOA MAMA!!!

    This is INCREDIBLE news… I’m so happy for you. Seriously. Spin would say, “I’m happier for us!”, but this is too huge to NOT be God and what He does, He does well.

    I know someone else with teenagers… 16 yo daughter and 13yo twin boys and they just had a surprise baby too. They are over the moon with him!

    You’re gonna do great! I can’t wait to read along!!

    (Also? I need to know which birth control method lapsed. Do I need to send Spin to the urologist for a little check??)
    Soliloquy´s last blog post ..If I Lay Here

    [Reply]

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