Makeover Monday: My Hair
My friend Jen has been on my case about the ‘serious’ nature of my writing recently. At her request, I am lightening up. And because I once embarrassed her so badly she cried [and then tripped and fell down the stairs in front of a guy she was trying to impress, which of course made me laugh hysterically, and then she cried harder, because her friend is a jerk and also her finger was broken] – I owe her.
Welcome to ‘embarrass myself’ week. Because Jen? I love you that much.
I have issues with my hair.
I was born with quite a lot of it, thick and bushy and black. I’m not sure why, but it’s a family thing I guess – my daughters were just the same. It never fell out either, just slowly turned to blonde.
The problem is that when I was a child, I was a tomboy. I had no patience for ribbons and bows, and I couldn’t be bothered to brush it. My mom’s solution? snip, snip
First with the too-short, uneven bangs
Age 2
It got a little bit better (read: less crooked)
Age 4
So of course that had to be rectified pronto
Age 5
For a couple of years that shaggy, mullet-like cut stayed
Age 6, and inexplicably petting a dead bird
[Man, I totally rocked the velour tummy shirt. Go me.]
These experiences scarred me. I was like, 12 when I finally got my hair to grow out. And there was no stopping me then, baby. I was all, my hair is never going to look bad again! Which is why even when playing basketball, I was fully curled and plastered with hair spray at all times. Sweat couldn’t stand a chance against a half can of Aqua Net.
Big hair
[I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize for that whole 'global warming' thing, if you believe in it. There's no doubt that my 4300 cans of aerosol hair spray had something to do with that.]
Eventually I gave up the big curls, and traded (up?) to extreme length
I could almost sit on it. For real.
Enough already Heather. Get a haircut.
19 inches later
Oh hey, that’s not half bad. [Except for the coat. #9, AKA The One Who No Longer Exists]
Thankfully I got rid of that good haircut ASAP – wouldn’t want to look normal for too long.
Not fat, just pregnant
Nice headband.
Hmmmm….maybe shorter would be better?
Shortest hair of my adult life
Yes, that is better. It must go.
I have no eyes when I smile
Curls – because that’s never worked before.
Ok, try again.
Again, not fat, just pregnant
Yes, that’s better.
Let’s ruin it.
Failed attempt at shag
Note to self – you are not nearly as cute as Meg Ryan and you cannot pull off her haircut. Also, you look fat in that outfit, and you don’t have pregnancy as an excuse.
Princess Leia hair
Note to self – you aren’t Carrie Fisher, either.
Perhaps the wrong hair color would help?
Reddish-brown - not good
Maybe I should just give up, and sport nothing but ponytails and twists.
Present day
How much worse can it get?
Humiliation – we’ll be here all week.
Tags: bad hair days, big hair, Makeover Monday
Hopelessly Flawed Confessions, Makeover Monday | Heather August 30, 2010
Facebook comments:
By Amanda M., August 30, 2010 @ 9:37 am
You are HILARIOUS.
First, I have to tell you I am AMAZED at how much all three girls are the SPITTING IMAGE of you. Could you put those first few pics up next to Catie (especially) and not even be able to tell the difference or what!?!? Amazing. You’re beautiful inside and out, so your girls are super blessed!
Second, this post just cracked me up. Because I could have written it myself. So funny!
Amanda M.´s last [type] ..The GW Desk
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By Darcie - Such The Spot, August 30, 2010 @ 10:23 am
What a fun tour de hair that was! If you put my pictures side by side with yours, I think you’d find we had a lot in common over the years.
AND…oh my goodness! That very first picture of you, when you were two? I have a picture of me at about the same age wearing the exact same outfit! See? Soul sisters.
Darcie – Such The Spot´s last [type] ..Fun Relatively Speaking
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By Caren - Crazy Catch, August 30, 2010 @ 10:52 am
Very funny. I can tell from this that I’m about a decade older than you. My teenage pictures had Farrah Fawcett hair – yours is more Cindi Lauper. An easier style to maintain while playing sports, for sure!
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By Allison @ Slice of Heaven, August 30, 2010 @ 11:55 am
That was a fun post! Gosh, I have had just about as many styles and colors, too!
Allison @ Slice of Heaven´s last [type] ..WordFUL Wednesday – Cozy
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By Jen, August 30, 2010 @ 5:05 pm
It was TWO fingers.
And this is a start.
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Heather Reply:
August 30th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
What kind of idiot falls down the steps and breaks her own fingers?
Heather´s last [type] ..Makeover Monday- My Hair
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