Bad Judgment
In oh-so-many ways.
It started young, when I was sporting a polyester leisure suit at my birthday party
Now this doesn't date me at all...
And it just grew from there.
For example, the date that felt chinos and no socks would be appropriate for a semi-formal.
No socks.
Who does that? Blech.
But hey, remember when boxer shorts as attire was popular?
No eyes when I smile. Seriously.
Yeah – me either. But it certainly helps to make them look cool, the way I have them hiked up to my armpits.
Dear Heather,
Circa-nineteen-whenever-overalls-were-popular
Overalls – not good.
Moving on…
Where to even begin with this one?
Pretzel legs
Oh, I know – how about we start with the pictures of the creep plastered all over the wall behind you? Bad. Judgment.
Also, you are still wearing boxers, and you still have no eyes when you smile.
Oh, and this?
Driving Miss Daisy
You are at least 20 years too young to wear a dress with a matching shirt. A dress that stops mid-calf, AKA the least flattering length known to man.
And it’s amazing this one didn’t get me arrested
Sullying the good name of Nemo
since quite obviously, I appear to be pants-less in Disney World.
I’m not, for the record.
A – Not fat, just pregnant. I know I say that a lot, but it’s true.
B – Wearing short shorts
C – Wearing my husband’s pullover which is way too big for me
D – Too stupid to look in a mirror
I had that ‘too stupid’ problem here, too. This is the day I learned that when taking pictures, your neck should be pushed out, not pulled in.
Hello, double chin!
Dear Heather,
Shield your eyes from the glow
Don’t take pictures in the pool unless you’ve discovered the sun. Or at least a decent self-tanner.
I’ve had several [failed] attempts at hat-wearing
But at least I don't have poodle hair!
Am I playing dress-up here? Why are the clothes hanging off of me? Gross! Eat a burger, pronto!
Let’s try again
The furry scarf really sets it off, don't you think?
Ok there, fatso. Back off the burgers now.
Maybe feathers would be better?
Practicing my routine for Vegas
As it turns out, no. And where are my darn eyes?
The mortification fun ends here today. More kicks to the gut laughs tomorrow!
Tags: bad judgement, double chin, fat face, why I can't wear hats
Hopelessly Flawed Confessions, Life Lessons | Heather August 31, 2010
Facebook comments:
By Chrissy, August 31, 2010 @ 11:19 am
OMG – the pants-less Disney picture is the best, hands down. I’ve never seen that one before!
[Reply]
By Allison @ Slice of Heaven, August 31, 2010 @ 12:41 pm
Ok, Heather, these past two posts have really brightened my days with some giggles! Thanks for that…I really needed it.
Allison @ Slice of Heaven´s last [type] ..Hurdles
[Reply]
By Amanda M., August 31, 2010 @ 1:03 pm
Oh, I love you! I love the pants-less Disney pic. My absolute favorite.
Amanda M.´s last [type] ..The GW Desk
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