In oh-so-many ways.
It started young, when I was sporting a polyester leisure suit at my birthday party
And it just grew from there.
For example, the date that felt chinos and no socks would be appropriate for a semi-formal.
Who does that? Blech.
But hey, remember when boxer shorts as attire was popular?
Yeah – me either. But it certainly helps to make them look cool, the way I have them hiked up to my armpits.
Overalls – not good.
Where to even begin with this one?
Oh, I know – how about we start with the pictures of the creep plastered all over the wall behind you? Bad. Judgment.
Also, you are still wearing boxers, and you still have no eyes when you smile.
Oh, and this?
You are at least 20 years too young to wear a dress with a matching shirt. A dress that stops mid-calf, AKA the least flattering length known to man.
And it’s amazing this one didn’t get me arrested
since quite obviously, I appear to be pants-less in Disney World.
I’m not, for the record.
A – Not fat, just pregnant. I know I say that a lot, but it’s true.
B – Wearing short shorts
C – Wearing my husband’s pullover which is way too big for me
D – Too stupid to look in a mirror
I had that ‘too stupid’ problem here, too. This is the day I learned that when taking pictures, your neck should be pushed out, not pulled in.
Don’t take pictures in the pool unless you’ve discovered the sun. Or at least a decent self-tanner.
I’ve had several [failed] attempts at hat-wearing
Am I playing dress-up here? Why are the clothes hanging off of me? Gross! Eat a burger, pronto!
Let’s try again
Ok there, fatso. Back off the burgers now.
Maybe feathers would be better?
As it turns out, no. And where are my darn eyes?
The mortification fun ends here today. More kicks to the gut laughs tomorrow!