As Good As I Once Was
I had an interesting conversation with an old friend last night, and I’ve thought about it all day.
It’s not the first time this has come up recently. In fact, my fabulous friend Tracy even wrote about it a few weeks ago.
Age.
Aging.
Ageless.
An interesting concept, but admittedly not one I’ve devoted a lot of time to considering. I’ve never been concerned about my age. I really don’t care that I’m getting older. I’ve never minded the changes that come with it, either.
The forehead wrinkles, just starting to form
The bags under my eyes, even on the rare occasion I’m wearing makeup, because I no longer have the luxury of sleep
The stretch marks on my hips that helped me usher 3 little lives into the world.
{I’ll spare you that visual. You’re welcome.}
Although I’ve not yet seen a gray hair, I really don’t care if they come, either. Vain I am not. I gave up vanity years ago, when I discovered that I actually like myself just as I am, and I don’t have the time/money/energy to doll myself up so others do, too. This is it, people – take it or leave it.
But then the conversation.
It was accidental, really – just where the flow of the words took us. And I’m sure I won’t remember the exact phrasing, but it was something along the lines of, “It’s just kind of depressing to realize that this is it. I will never look or feel any better than I do right now.”
Well when you put it like that…
Yeah.
Humph.
So it is kind of depressing, isn’t it? This is it. This is as good as it gets, from here on out.
{Thanks so much for pointing that out, too, by the way.}
What makes that hard for me to accept is that I don’t really see myself as I am, even now. I still see this girl
while sadly, the rest of you see this one
The woman you see is older and wiser, no doubt…
But the girl I see is a whole lot hotter.
And today, I am just vain enough to miss her.
I ain’t as good as I once was…and I’m not sure that I’m as good once as I ever was, either.
Drat.
Tags: ageless, aging gracefully, vanity
Hopelessly Flawed Confessions, How I See the World | Heather August 14, 2010
Facebook comments:
By Christina, August 14, 2010 @ 2:15 pm
You are better than you ever were.
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By Amanda M., August 14, 2010 @ 2:19 pm
well, i think you’re a hottie and such a great person with a super huge and kind heart. and i think just being a GOOD person is what is important and makes anyone attractive.
here’s how “old granny” i’ve gotten: i am tipper gore now. i cannot stand that toby keith song (among others) because of the lyrics. i once loathed tipper for her “anti-free-speech-ism” and now of course i think she’s awesome. old, old, old.
Amanda M.´s last [type] ..SO excited
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By Jen, August 14, 2010 @ 2:28 pm
Girl, you are INSANE! You are still smokin’ hot, stretch marks and all.
I know what you mean about aging though. I usually don’t care, and then one day it’ll hit me-whap! And it hurts. It’s not always fun getting old, but it beats the alternative!
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Heather Reply:
August 14th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
That sounds like something my dad would say.
And thanks, but…you didn’t know me when.
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By Chrissy, August 14, 2010 @ 3:46 pm
LMAO! I love the stuffins out of you. Don’t be depressed. Dance it out.
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By Jenny, August 14, 2010 @ 5:06 pm
And you’re still hot enough for the meat man to hit on you, too!
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By Heather, August 14, 2010 @ 7:42 pm
Yes, there *is* that. I love that man.
I’m not *actually* depressed, just for the record. Well okay, I am, but not seriously depressed. Just bummed enough to make me run an extra mile this afternoon. And every day from here on out.
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By Diane, August 15, 2010 @ 8:20 pm
Okay, so it’s really not a fair assessment. If I squint and picture you with the same deep stained red lips and pout — there’s not much difference, really. I was just thinking about this the other day as I put make-up on for the first time this summer. There used to be a time I wore make-up to look older, *sigh*
But good for you for running the extra mile. I’ll probably just go grab an extra brownie!
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