What I learned this week – Facebook edition
I joined Facebook over a year ago, and I did so very reluctantly. Even after signing up, I didn’t use the account for months. I just didn’t see the point.
I readily admit now that I was wrong, and I’m very glad that I did finally start using it. It’s been fun. I’ve moved a lot, so I was able to reconnect with old friends, talk to people who live all over the world, and do a little networking as well. (Gosh I hate that word. Blech.)
I’ve also learned a lot from Facebook.
~For example, it seems to be a popular place for one to out oneself. You know - out. Like, exiting the closet. At least among 414 of my closest friends and acquaintances, this isn’t an uncommon practice.
~I’ve learned of countless marriages, divorces, and births through Facebook. Because of this, I strongly feel maiden names should be a requirement. I have no idea who married whom and I’m easily confused by profile pictures of cats. Give me your maiden name or a picture of your actual person, please. My brain is tired.
~I’ve seen hundreds of pictures of my friends, from way back when we had big hair up ’til now, when we’re generally sporting mom ponytails.
Tell me who rocked the Aqua Net. Yeah baby. I know it.
~I’ve been able to share pictures and trade instant letters with one of my oldest and dearest friends, despite the fact that she lives almost 5,000 miles away in Finland. (Love you Nella!)
~I’ve seen photos from the past that, despite their unflattering nature, make me smile with nostalgia every time.
[That's me in the middle, between Big Hair and Scarlett O'Hara. The pasty white Irish girl, smack in the middle of my black-with-combat-boots phase. Awesome.]
~The jerk I dated in high school/college? Looks exactly the same. And what I learned from him (besides the fact that I should always trust my parents’ opinion of the guys I date, because despite my reluctance to admit it, they actually do know better than me)…where was I? Oh yeah. What I learned from him on Facebook is that there is a block feature, whereby you can completely hide yourself from certain people. How totally awesome is that? Thanks, Mr. Wrong-Wrong-Oh-So-Unspeakably-Wrong for making me find that handy feature, which further helps me to pretend those years never even happened. You need to not exist in my world anymore.
I’m tempted to include a picture here, but I won’t. I don’t want to have to look at him again.
~On the other end of the spectrum, that boy I pined over in junior high and for several years after that? Even more dreamy now. Some of you us age better than others.
Even more tempted to include a picture here. But again, showing restraint.
I’m so mature.
~I’ve learned that I know way too many people with way too much time on their hands. Hello Farmville friends! Yes, I’m talking to you. I just don’t get it. And that goes for you Mafia Wars and Pet Land and Cafe World folks, too.
~I also learned that you can block those annoying games and applications. Score again! Thanks for all of the block features, Facebook. Much obliged.
~Last year, I learned that I was once someone’s ‘bad girl.’ The girl he shouldn’t have dated but did. The one you wouldn’t take home to mother, unless you want to tick mother off. This was rather amusing to me, since rebellious me never did anything more shocking than wear the aforementioned combat boots and experiment with wild colors of temporary hair color. And that was before he even knew me! As it turned out, the reason I was so wild was my ethnicity. Specifically, my lack of being Korean. ‘Cause Korean I am not, I’ll give you that.
He and I dated briefly in our 20′s. We were each other’s rebound person – he came after The One Who No Longer Exists for me, and I came after The One That Got Away for him. We discussed this openly at the time, and we had a few laughs while making the best of a lousy few months. After that, I started dating my now-husband, and he got another job so we no longer worked together. I didn’t really see him much after that, and we just lost touch. Until Facebook, of course.
Last year we had a great laugh over the notion of me being a wild child. But honestly, I have to admit, it somehow delighted me a little, too. To get to be ‘bad’ without actually having anything bad to show for it – that works for me. I do ‘bad’ like a monkey…well, nevermind.
~And this week, also thanks to Facebook, I learned that possibly the only person to ever think of me as a bad girl died. Killed himself. He was 37 years old. He never married – never got over The One.
She did marry, has 2 little girls, and had no idea that he still carried a torch for her. Apparently no one did.
I’m haunted by a song he used to love. I remember him playing it over and over. I guess it meant more than I realized – he was still playing it a decade+ later.
I’m so sorry, my friend. I wish I had known. I wish I’d done something differently. I wish I had been there for you, loving you, praying for you, carrying your burden. I’m so, so sorry.
And in a case like this, I don’t know what else I can say. Rest in peace doesn’t exactly seem appropriate. He couldn’t find peace while living, and somehow I don’t believe he has found it now. My heart is heavy.
Goodbye Hyo.
Facebook comments:
By Cindy522, April 13, 2010 @ 10:00 am
Very well written, Heather. Im so sorry for the sad turn it had to take.
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By Darcie - Such The Spot, April 13, 2010 @ 10:20 am
What a sad story. I’m so sorry.
You know, I honestly didn’t know that that sort of thing really happens–a guy pining over a girl for years and years, so much so that he ends up taking his own life. I thought that was just something from movies.
What a disturbing loss.
.-= Darcie – Such The Spot´s last blog ..Looming Days =-.
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By Jen S, April 14, 2010 @ 1:40 pm
That is so funny! Thanks so much for sharing.
.-= Jen S´s last blog ..Homekeeper’s Journal~April 14 =-.
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By Julie From Inmates, April 14, 2010 @ 11:01 pm
Wow. How disturbing. What a sad, sad story. I’ve learned a lot on Facebook too, but never anything like that. Thanks for linking up this week.
.-= Julie From Inmates´s last blog ..Thursday Thirteen – Such A Turn On! =-.
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